Why I Hate Celebrities! 49 Furious Reasons!

Categories: Celebs

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Click here for my heated column in which I throw verbal brickbats at the celebrities whose shadows I've lived in for years, covering their every swivel while running from their constant whims.

Among my reasons:

"They claw their way to the top, then act like they're desperate not to be noticed."

"Their pulverized foreheads look a tad out of place in films about 16th-century England."

"Hitler could be rising to power again, but they wouldn't say anything for fear the controversy might mess up their next game-show cameo."

No, let me not give too much away.

If enough people click on the whole column, I could finally become a real celebrity myself, with all the requisite power, surgery, and stupid behavior.

Can't wait!

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