World Ending Saturday! I'm Scared!

Categories: Featured

harold camping.jpg

First, I had to deal with the World nightclub closing sometime in the '90s, as I traumatically recall every single waking moment of my life.

But now the whole world is ending!!!!

If you believe Reverend Harold Camping -- and why would he lie? -- this Saturday at 6 p.m., bad shit is going to go down and 2 percent of the populace will be "raptured" to heaven while the rest is ruptured to a way lower berth.

Never mind that not one other thing in the Bible ever came true.

This one is a given!

And it's totally ruining my plans to watch a nice little western called Junior Bonner on TCM.

I'm even not going to DVR it, since what would be the point? (Besides, I don't have DVR.)

Another bad idea would be to spend the day writing checks to the estimable Mr. Camping.

The world's ending, remember? The cash will be useless.

So don't send any money to this amazing visionary, who's not selling a book -- I mean not just selling a book -- he's simply speaking the truth, and unlike last time, this time he's woefully on target, for absolute certain.

I'll just personally congratulate him when I see him in the lower berth.

And then I'll ask him to turn the other cheek -- and I'll whomp it till it hurts like, you know, hell.


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39 comments
Fluffy50729
Fluffy50729

 only God knows when the world is gonna end

White Lilies
White Lilies

Type your comment here.It's ignorant to say nothing in the Bible has ever come true.  If you really know the Bible it's also ignorant to say the world is going to end today.

Movielover
Movielover

The bible is ok, but it's kind of preachy.

Bees10
Bees10

The world isn't going to end tomorrow, the bible says that NOBODY, and I repeat NOBODY knows the time or the place when jesus will come back to this earth and will take his followers up into heaven with him. Harold Camping might have miss interpreted the bible as he has before, because no one, not even him being a christian, will know when jesus is coming back. All we know, is that when it does happen, it will happen in the blink of an eye. It will happen so fast, and thats it. It you are saved you will be taken up to heaven and anyone who isn't will be left on earth during the tribulation, and later on judgement day will occur. If your name isn't in the book of life, you will spend eternity in the fiery pit of hell. If your name is in the book, you will enter into heaven where there is no sickness, no jealously, no worries, no harm, and much more and you will walk the streets of gold and live in a house that god has prepared for you.

Trevoh_stupid
Trevoh_stupid

There will not be a rapture lol this guy who said this is dumb. No man can or will find out when this event occurs

Dickweed
Dickweed

you people need to watch religulous :D

Movielover
Movielover

Saw it.  Loved it.  I worship it!

Cj
Cj

Wow, to all of you!

GUTTA
GUTTA

muthafucker...u aint GOD...u probably talk to him but i guaranteed his ass aint tell u sum negative shit like dat....yo wack ass.noow a lil voice in my ear just told me....if i was to see ur ass i'll fuq u all da way up 

Zoneoy
Zoneoy

 dis is so ignorant

TR0113R
TR0113R

Are you ..fucking stupid?...Seriously...the word "Ignorant" means "Lacking knowledge"..and also, I think you meant to say "This" instead of "dis"...Nigger.

Hyperliterida
Hyperliterida

No what he said actually makes sense and whether he uses the word ''this'' is up to him. If you want to lecture someone on grammar, check how many periods you used in your own comment first. 

Rita
Rita

Ooh, you think you're so brave, you anonymous asshole. Shut the fuck up.

corrective_unconscious
corrective_unconscious

When you run into one of these talibangelical loons, ask if you may have their car keys and title at 5:50pm Saturday. They won't be needing wheels. Works for houses, too, if you can work it. Praiz!

latenitebump
latenitebump

was he at dunkin donuts when it was attacked, too?

pretty eyes
pretty eyes

Ok 1 thing no one, not no one knows when the world will end. Jesus will know only when His Father tells him to go rapture up the believers. This man is a false prohet who will be dealth with justly. Yes Jesus will return but not Saturday May 21 2011. His return is unknown to everybody especially the human race.

Jeffrey Salthouse
Jeffrey Salthouse

 I'm pretty sure that just about everything else is unknown to humans as well.

Movielover
Movielover

Hey Pretty Eyes, you are a superstitious person.  Also, "not no one" means someone.   

Canuck
Canuck

 One of my regular fuck-buds is Jesus.  I think He will come again.

Jisbell
Jisbell

Half of it is not even spelled right...

Musto
Musto

 Walter Mercado? Love him.

Movielover
Movielover

I think that's his name!  He wears/wore sequiny, embroidery type robes and was/is a HUGE queen talking about the stars.  Is he still on?  I don't see him when I'm surfing.

Musto
Musto

 I'm not sure if he's on anymore. But I interviewed him years back in his Brooklyn townhouse and LOVED him. He was obsessed with the Jennifer Jones movie "We Were Strangers" and couldn't wait for it to come out on DVD.

timmmyk
timmmyk

 Walter Mercado (born March 9, 1932),[1] (now known as Shanti Ananda) is a Puerto Rican astrologer. Mercado announced (January 8, 2010) that he and Univision have parted ways after fifteen years.[2]Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/W...

Movielover
Movielover

This ridiculous crypt keeper is a blight on tv.  I shudder when I channel surf past this animated corpse and wonder why he doesn't give up the ghost and die already.  At least that Hispanic queen with the astrology was entertaining as a drag queen/Liberace impersonator.

Adge
Adge

 I'm pretty sure you have till at least Sunday.

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