John Edwards' Defense: Here's What It Should Be

I thought his defense was that he has "restless penis syndrome" or "RPS" a medical disorder affecting all elected officials.

He's told so many lies now, he probably doesn't even know what the truth is any more.

Is it his fault he had man-needs? But you always hear about how rich he is - so why did he have to use the campaign money? He could've put everything on a dedicated credit card or put money in a special bank account. It suddenly occurred to me that the story makes no sense. (Although I like your reasoning very much, Michael.)

I agree with your strategy, Mikey.  Kee-rect.  Logical.  Though Edwards doesn't seem so thoughtful, otherwise he might have known that making a video of him eating whats-her-names snooch might come back to haunt him.

My favorite of his defenses is claiming that Elizabeth was "in remission" when he started fucking that hag, Rielle.  I see....so that makes it better?  He's the textbook example (along with Dan Quayle) of America being hoodwinked by a candidate, solely based upon their handsome face.  The more one learns about Edwards, the more one finds that he's a pretty little shell who looks the way a candidate is "supposed" to look--but is, in fact, hollow to the bone. 

I think the tide is turning in his favor--though I'm not sure why. I mean creating a love child behind the back of your carcinogenic wife even goes beyond Arnold's balls.

Nope, honesty is never the best policy.