Advice To Gerard Depardieu After Plane Urination Incident

Categories: Advice

150px-Gérard_Depardieu_Cannes_2010.jpg

So, French legend Gerard Depardieu peed on an Air France jet's carpet after being told by a flight attendant that he couldn't use le bathroom until the plane was at its cruising altitude.

This resulted in le horror, delays, and a terrible odor.

So Gerard, I have this advice to you so you can avoid such future travesties:

*Go back to preschool, where kids first learn how to be toilet-trained. Maybe you missed that day or weren't paying attention?

*Get yourself some of those leakage pads they regularly advertise on TV -- though you're going to need so many of them I doubt you'll be able to get them past customs.

*Hold it in.

*And don't start getting any other bright ideas about ways to relieve yourself in public.

After all, we don't want you to go from Oscar-nominated screen icon to Gerard Depardieu-dieu.


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21 comments
Ned Nifty
Ned Nifty

I think  Gerard Depardieu could have easily announced out loud that he had to take a piss and would be happy to accomodate anyone male or female who practiced urination fetishes. I am sure that there would have been several offers from people who's indulge in drinking and getting pissed on. Usually these people are shameless and proud of their piss fetish. With Gerard being a famous person, there would have been quite a number of people who would have been unashamed to receive his urine.

VonD
VonD

What does he know from peeing on the floor? The poor thing has turned into a Muppet!

BetteD
BetteD

Well, at least he didn't make things worse by picking his nose.

billyjoe
billyjoe

Howwabout this simple advice: Don't drink and fly.

Jack E. Jett
Jack E. Jett

Pee jokes are just the best...and take a first to number two.

Brendabergman13
Brendabergman13

but NOTHING beats a fart {I LOVED the War and piss joke. This young man shows talent.

Monsieurpatric
Monsieurpatric

Helas Gerard,  Mechant petit morveux, allez au lit!

Frenchie
Frenchie

C'était un affreux, vraiment!

MSpeer
MSpeer

Good thoughts. Second story of this sort in a week (the other was about a teen who was inebriated and could not wait so he peed on an unlucky little girl who's seat was on the aisle. Why do I think Depardieu had also hoisted a few?

They all deserve what they get. It's gross and irresponsible.

peeling
peeling

boring, humourless, obsolete 'journalism'

Rolph
Rolph

You're a boring, humourless [sic], obsolete asshole.

Movielover
Movielover

Are you being forced to read this?  You should get back to War and Peace.

Sluggo
Sluggo

War and Piss. Or Warm Piss.

jonster
jonster

"Please place your penis in its original, upright position."

Snapwing
Snapwing

What kind of savage behaves in such a manner? Good lawd!

Movielover
Movielover

A has-been, desperate to get press...for anything!

Lemans
Lemans

He's a renowned pig whose behaved monstrously for years. Glad he's embarrassed himself once again.

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