Gay Marriage

I Know Why Bert And Ernie Can't Get Married

By Michael Musto Thu., Aug. 11 2011 at 10:06 AM
Categories: Gay Marriage

bert-and-ernie.jpg

Fans of cloth creatures with hands inside them have rallied to sign a petition urging Sesame Street roommates Bert and Ernie to tie the knot, as I've always felt would be the perfectly natural thing for these ultra-close and very fashionable puppets to do.

There's apparently just one reason why this can't happen, though.

According to my exclusive sources, Bert is secretly planning to marry Tinky Winky!


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latenitebump
latenitebump

bert and tink getting hitched? don´t think so...as latoya (jackson) would say:they´re cut from two different cloths...tink is too fashioned-forward for bert. not only does she have a fab pad; she can, also,  get free cable tv on her stomach!

guest
guest

That's disgusting, Elmo is a 4-yr-old!

Lost Weekend
Lost Weekend

Wait till Elmo hits the gay bars.

Redondo
Redondo

Elmo IS a gay restaurant in Chelsea.

Natali
Natali

Bert's a jerk. Let him marry Tinky Winky. Ernie can have fun exploring Spongebob's Square Pants. ;)

Savannah Montgomery
Savannah Montgomery

Oh the children...the CHIL-DER-EN!!!

We saved them from Katy Perry's tits...now this??  Maurice, pray it awaaaay!

Midge
Midge

They can bring Ernie in for three ways.

Hyacinth
Hyacinth

I thought Bert and Tinky were both tops. How is that gonna work out?

latenitebump
latenitebump

tinky is a bottom who loves handbag house music. and bert is into fisting.

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