The Trouble With Adding Backstories

Categories: Film

sophie.jpg

Remember that Grinch movie that added the title character's backstory so we could see how he got so evil?

Boring! It was better as subtext! Or left to our imaginations!

And now, the upcoming Broadway revival of Porgy and Bess is supposedly going to add a little background to flesh out the characters, something that recently sent Stephen Sondheim into a letter-writing tizzy of horror.

Well, what other backstories can you imagine being shoehorned into classics so all the armchair psychologists out there can say, "Oh! That's how they got that way!"?

I can think of some:

*In Sophie's Choice, they can add a scene where Meryl Streep, as a child, is made to choose between two pairs of mittens by her mother, and gets terribly confused.

*Gandhi should have a flashback where the young Mahatma accidentally drops his burger into a well, leaving nothing but a wisp of some garni on top. He nibbles on it and finds he loves it! That sets the seed for his future fasting.

*There should also be a scene where little Mahatma sees a turtle trying to eat a fly and realizes the awfulness of battle. He separates them and vows to spend the rest of his life fighting for peace. Alas, in separating them, he had to swat the fly away, which killed it.

*The King's Speech should have his majesty turn to the camera and explain that when he was a kid, he joined some schoolmates in a sing-along of "K-K-K-Katie" and really enjoyed the syncopation.

*Precious should add about 40 minutes of monologues whereby each character stops in their tracks and announces, "I am fucked up because ..."

Any other bright ideas?


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Monsieurpatric
Monsieurpatric

Michael choux,  Juliet might have suggested Capri to Romeo as a lovers alternative.

Scruff712
Scruff712

In Citizen Kane they could show how he got to be so powerful and the significance of why he says rosebud with his last breath. Even though no one is in the room to hear it.

Jonster
Jonster

After getting her Land Rover stuck crossing a river, Her Majesty (Helen Mirren) rests on a rock and finally feels the full emotional impact of a grieving nation.  She breaks down.  In the distance, like in a dream, a beautiful 16 point stag appears on a hill.  The stag seems to suggest a metaphor -- Diana, and what she went through.  Queen Elizabeth stares at it wistfully for a moment, and then pulls a Walther PPK from her pocket and drops the stag with one shot..

Movielover
Movielover

How about some fag-haggy history for Mame?  P.S. Love that name, Mahatma.  I think I'm getting a kitten soon and will name it that!  What's the nickname?  Hattie?  Hatty?

Cinematic
Cinematic

Whatever Happened To Baby Jane? should flash back to young Blanche...no, wait, they did that.

Savannah Montgomery
Savannah Montgomery

Scarlett, a temperamental childhood obesity case, loves barbeque and anything porky (Rhett), but society dictates the 23" (or less) waistline...the Civil War forces her to take up Yankee vegan ways.

Joe Hammes
Joe Hammes

Oliver Stone's "W." should have included a bunch of flashbacks with a visibly pregnant Barbara Bush downing highballs and chain smoking.

Mira
Mira

127 Hours should have a flashback where James Franco is seen getting a hangnail and cutting it off.

Yaya
Yaya

In Julie & Julia, young Julia Child should be seen playing with her dill dough.

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