Ashton And Demi Kaput? I Can't Bear It!

Categories: Celebs

220px-Demi_Moore_and_Ashton_Kutcher_TechCrunch50.jpg

Reports have Demi Moore fed up with Ashton Kutcher's philandering ways and calling it quits between them.

This upsets me a great deal because:

*Demi already weighs only 20 pounds. The added stress might make her totally disappear.

*I counted on these two to carry on forever despite the age difference. They seemed to break all the rules, so I hoped they'd survive all the fly-by-night Hollywood couples they obviously outclassed. What will happen to the cougar trend now that they're over? Will it go the way of scrunchies?

*Two and a Half Men doesn't need another womanizing scandal to mess up its cred! This is one bad-press bonanza too many!

*If Ashton really has sex-addiction issues, this is basically one more hot man who'll fuck anything that moves except me!

*Demi's kids liked having someone their own age to play with. Will they have to go back to Bruce Willis's blues concerts?

Get back together, Ashton & Demi -- for my sake.

And I'm counting on you, too, Brad and Jen.


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9 comments
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Pear
Pear

Ashton has tweeted "Don't believe the hype" but he probably means that about his sitcom, not the breakup rumors, lol.

Jonster
Jonster

Ironic how the first time he gets a big payday, he hits the road.  But life with Demi couldn't have been a blast.  She ordered him around like a porter or a mother.  "You don't want to eat that," she would say.  And he wouldn't.  Now that he's got the bux, he realizes life with Demi sux.

Savannah Montgomery
Savannah Montgomery

hmm...you may be on to something there, but still MM right about the 2.5 thing...but he's still young enough that a good publicist could spin the "wild oats" with an implied make-up about happen thing.

Lady Lucia
Lady Lucia

She should have been the one to cheat

Pink
Pink

I knew it wouldn't last--but I have to say it lasted way longer than I ever imagined.

Melinda9
Melinda9

I'm totally shocked. But I'm sure it was fun while it lasted.

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