Mr. Gay NY Has Been Crowned

Categories: Gaaaaayyyyyy

Mr_ Gay New York Lineup.jpg
chrisryannyc.com

I judged the Mr. Gay NY pageant at Barracuda last night, where five fine-looking specimens paraded before the room in evening wear and swimsuits.

That was all just hunky-dory, thank you.

But then came the question-and-answer segment.

Uh-oh. Literacy trouble ahead.

When asked to pick three adjectives that describe themselves, two of the guys got stuck on the word "adjectives" and looked as lost as hookers in a confession booth.

"All right, one adverb," I suggested to one of them. Silence.

"OK, what do you think of Obama?" I asked the other one.

"Suck! Sucks! Sucks!" he replied as if he were spouting Shakespeare.

"We have three potential winners," said glamorous drag star Dallas DuBois (hosting with the irrepressible Frankie C of Odyssey magazine).

"And we have two from the Helen Keller Institute."

Naturally, one of the three smarties won -- his platform was "confidence," and he believed in it so much he managed to make jeans look like evening wear -- and the first runner-up wasn't bad, either.

Asked "What two items would you take with you after death?" he replied, "My Britney Spears collection and my laptop to play it on."

"You don't have an iPad?" asked DuBois, incredulously.

"But I have porn in my laptop," he unselfconsciously admitted.

I love the gays! And even the Helen Keller ones look great in Speedos!


Above: Last year's slate of finalists.

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12 comments
Tyler Wallach
Tyler Wallach

Why isn't there a picture of the new boys this year? WHO THE FUCK EVEN WON? #blogfail

bsomers
bsomers

So if you are born gay these guys were all born this dumb?

Melinda9
Melinda9

I'm still waiting for Roseanne to get her campaign up and running.

latenitebump
latenitebump

there´s so much pres. obama bashing watch as the republicans takeover the white house and set the world stage for gloom and doom.reagan ruined the world along with thatcher. bush one was shit. bush 2 goes without saying.

the american public will never learn.the republicans only bring poverty, hate, and suffering to this world.

happy halloween.

Matthew Rettenmund
Matthew Rettenmund

I agree. It's sad when idiot twinks think it's cool to say Obama sucks. People are blaming him for the economy (and gays are blaming him for not signing an executive order making everyone love us overnight), but if he's voted out and any Republican gets in, the economy will or will not improve based on other factors...and will it have been worth giving the Supreme Court and the reins to all our freedoms to a party that is controlled wholly by the extreme right wing? Then the same idiot twinks will be saying "Romney sucks!" and will be staring down a reinstatement of DADT, decades of stonewalling on other progressive rights, a total handover of our government to big business...the list goes on and on.

Melinda9
Melinda9

I thought they already took over the White House.

MartinNYID
MartinNYID

who's the man? (you found the women)

Barkley
Barkley

And Rob Kardashian doesn't know who Fred Astaire is.  The Blank Generation, the Jersey Shore Generation, where stupidity rules and critical thinking doesn't exist.  

Melinda9
Melinda9

The question and answer segment - so often the downfall of the pageant hopeful. But how did Helen Keller get dragged into it? - she was a brilliant woman.

Rita
Rita

"My Britney Spears collection"??????

Ynnocence
Ynnocence

I know, hon. Isn't that the same thing as porn? And he could just upload everything to the cloud and bring the iPad instead!

Majora
Majora

Holy shit! The Chelsea queens need to read something besides Manhunt.

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