Postal Service Is On The Verge of Collapse, And I Have a Problem With That

Categories: Advice

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Not just because I'm old-school and still actually mail things, including an occasional thank-you card for anyone who hasn't pushed me into traffic lately.

But because, as is commonly known, postal workers are cuckoo-crazy, sore-picking, bugger-chomping, eyeball-rolling, soul-deadened nutjobs.

Crushed by the banality of their jobs, these droids no longer have any idea how to have a human interaction not involving weighing a package or selling you some wrapping tape.

They are defeated, rage-filled outcasts waiting for a chance to wreak greater havoc than simply handing you some Liberty Bell stamps when you'd specifically asked for Bette Davis.

These looney tunes were scary enough within the confines of the post office, but at least that was indoors and a semi-controlled situation.

Do we really want these zombified postage hawkers wandering the streets without any guidance whatsoever?

Help!!!!

This is surely going to become a real-life, unwanted George Romero sequel.


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16 comments
Victorherbert
Victorherbert

Being able to have delivered a piece of something ANYWHERE in the U.S. for mere cents will be missed.

frankiefrank
frankiefrank

What will Saturdays be like without junk mail? Most of my mail these days is either addressed to Occupant or Resident. I don't need junk mail hand-delivered. I get enough of it emailed directly to my lap.   

Southern Dave
Southern Dave

I love the Post Office, especially for the beautiful stamps created by an artist I've met -- the gifted Michael Deas, who did the James Dean, Tennessee Williams and Marilyn Monroe stamps.. The Holy Trinity!

They do have problems with customer service, though. One Christmas, while trying to send presents in our  packed neighborhood post office, just two ladies were dealing with the crowd and every now and then, a man would poke his head out from behind those flaps, look horrified and dart behind them.

"Pay no attention to the Man Behind the Curtain!" I yelled.

Shebuggah
Shebuggah

A nice way of arguing that the destruction of of the USPS is another assault on a bulwark of the American middle class. You are definitely a clever one, I'll give you that.

Normadesmond
Normadesmond

if the economy continues its trend, the streets will be teeming with unemployed crazies......one of which may be available to hand deliver that thank you note. 

a personal touch, always lovely.

candy
candy

At my post office, when i have to pick up a package the lady behind the counter makes everyone wait for a long time, then she makes believe she cant find it.  Usually with USPS, if i'm expecting them to deliever-they never ring my buzzer, leave a slip saying they missed me, i always make them come back redeliver on Sat, the guy looks at me like he wants to kill me and hands me my package. We could look fwd to summer 12' full of david berkowitzs running around.

Melinda9
Melinda9

I read somewhere that the USPS is actually quite profitable, but they're required by Congress to set aside 5 billion+ every year to pre-fund pensions. Congress tells them what to do, but they receive no tax money.

Movielover
Movielover

Mikey!  You must use the postal office machines instead of dealing with the sad souls behind the counter!  Also, usually no waiting in line.  I can actually mail a package must faster than standing there dealing with a dope who is supposed to do it for a living.  Though you can't get those snazzy stamps from the machine, just...liberty bells!

Rabbit
Rabbit

Must you push the envelope by giving the PS your stamp of disapproval?

jonster
jonster

Well, Little Mister, with that attitude I wouldn't give you those Bette Davis stamps either!  (tsk)

Lafayetta
Lafayetta

Why, you must live in New York City!  My postal worker is cheery, intelligent, focused and dependable but then again, I live in California!

Hopefloats
Hopefloats

I agree, this is way scarier than hurricane irene.

Sadd
Sadd

Is that photo from Kevin Costner's Postman stinker? LOL.

Musto
Musto

They no longer have machines at my local post office, alas.

Movielover
Movielover

Alas!  Come on over to my post office 14th & A and it will give us a chance for celebrity sighting!

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