Why I Hate Fashion! It's To Die From!

Categories: Advice


As Fashion Week approacheth, it's time for my very chic screed about why I can't stand it, even though I secretly wish I was an 80-pound model winning international validation for clomping down a runway in an asymmetrical plaid tutu.

But the truth is, there's so much to hate about this expressive, oppressive time when fashion struts for your approval.

For example:

*Anna Wintour never says hello.

*The wrong pair of shoes can ruin an otherwise perfect outfit.

*The second row has worse gift bags than the first. (It should be the other way around, to make up for the bad view.)

*Designers endlessly regurgitate the '60s, the '80s, and their 20s.

*The most ridiculed outfits are usually the ones I like the best.

And so many other reasons why I'm going back into the closet so I can give every outfit back to Housing Works, where I got them in the first place.

Oy. Fuck you, fashion.

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Girl, you can do better than this. Now come up with some real reads on these fashion vampires. I know you can do it. You're Michael Musto, for bloombergsakes!


when is this 80s trend going to go away? it seems endless? Waiting for grunge and kinderwhore to come back so i can wear my old college clothes.


Seems like fashion shows are mostly for the fashion folks and what's clomping down the runway (a plaid, asymmetrical!) is not something that is bought/worn by anybody.  Maybe the trends have a far-reaching affect on clothing design, but it's kind of like fashion's mental masturbation.  I forgot who coined "mental masturbation" but it's some good food for thought and you can do it anywhere!