I Saw Abduction! Oy Vey!
A friend was desperate to see Abduction, despite it's 5 percent rating on RottenTomatoes.com -- or maybe because of it.
The Tuesday night showing at the Chelsea Clearview surprisingly turned out to be sold out, but he bought tickets from a scalper outside.
(And she was weirdly self-defeating, charging $10 for $13 tickets. This movie has clearly started a wave of anti-scalpers.)
Anyway, it starts well and ends OK, but the middle! As Lautner and gal pal run from the baddies while trying to sort out just who he is, I was wishing the scalper had downgraded the price even more.
Lautner is cute in a young-Elvis-meets-Animal Planet kind of way, but his acting is so somnambulent he makes Twilight look like a musical comedy by comparison.
And the dialogue!
"Who are you? Answer me! You killed my parents!"
"My parents were just murdered, and I think the people who did it are after me, too!"
Therapist Sigourney Weaver (who's used to working with avatars): "There'll be time for you to emotionally deal with all this, but right now you've got to get your shit together."
And the immortal: "You've been looking for answers your whole life. You just didn't know which questions to ask."
I felt guilty almost falling asleep, but when I opened my eyes, Lautner looked half-conscious himself.
Congrats, Abduction. You're the front-runner for the Razzies this year.