I Saw Abduction! Oy Vey!

Categories: Film

taylor-lautner-mad-abduction-money.jpg

A friend was desperate to see Abduction, despite it's 5 percent rating on RottenTomatoes.com -- or maybe because of it.

The Tuesday night showing at the Chelsea Clearview surprisingly turned out to be sold out, but he bought tickets from a scalper outside.

(And she was weirdly self-defeating, charging $10 for $13 tickets. This movie has clearly started a wave of anti-scalpers.)

Anyway, it starts well and ends OK, but the middle! As Lautner and gal pal run from the baddies while trying to sort out just who he is, I was wishing the scalper had downgraded the price even more.

Lautner is cute in a young-Elvis-meets-Animal Planet kind of way, but his acting is so somnambulent he makes Twilight look like a musical comedy by comparison.

And the dialogue!

"Who are you? Answer me! You killed my parents!"

"My parents were just murdered, and I think the people who did it are after me, too!"

Therapist Sigourney Weaver (who's used to working with avatars): "There'll be time for you to emotionally deal with all this, but right now you've got to get your shit together."

And the immortal: "You've been looking for answers your whole life. You just didn't know which questions to ask."

I felt guilty almost falling asleep, but when I opened my eyes, Lautner looked half-conscious himself.

Congrats, Abduction. You're the front-runner for the Razzies this year.



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jkebeans
jkebeans

Please people it's just entertainment.  It wasn't that bad.  Half the crap that makes millions is far worse than this movie.  Mission impossible 2 for ex

Ioann
Ioann

I felt sooo bad for Sigourney Weaver watching this film.  So, so bad.  She needs a new agent.

Bellestarrr
Bellestarrr

Taylor Lautner should stick to science fiction roles..his face and that PERFECT body lend themselves well to portraying evil...when he gets a little older providing he can hang onto that body..he will be a great leading man....c'mon Taylor....look back to the leading men of years past......belle

MarkyMark
MarkyMark

Shows how very very desperate Hollywood is for young action stars. I hafta wonder if the "males 16-25" marketing-demographic is really very interested in Lautner. Perhaps they just expect to coast on purchases by female Twilight fans; at least they could probably talk their boyfriends into going.

anon
anon

But does he take his shirt off?  

Teetee
Teetee

He does at one point. Very nice bod. (I saw it for free.)

Billy
Billy

I'd rather sit "on" than sit "through" Taylor Lautner. Am I right, people??

Pina
Pina

You are so brave to sit through stuff like this.

Hollywould
Hollywould

And it's directed by John Singleton, Oscar nominee for Boys N The Hood!!

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