Musicals Based On Movies: What's Next?

Categories: Theater

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Billy Elliot, Priscilla, and Sister Act have carried on the time-honored tradition of turning popular movies into musicals.

What next?

I'll tell you:


*Fatal Attraction

The adaptation -- titled Crazy Bitch: The Musical -- will feature a well-chosen bunch of Sondheim chestnuts ("You said you loved me ... Or am I losing my mind?" "Nothing's gonna harm you, not while I'm around"). Julie Taymor provides the rabbit.


*Driving Miss Daisy

They'll retool this heartbreaking classic to make it more family-friendly, complete with sumptuous special effects. The new title? Daisy Daisy Bang Bang. Daisy and Hoke bond while flying 60 feet in the air!


*The Big Chill

This will be scaled-down for the recession and called The Little Chill. Three friends reunite to sing and dance and play their own instruments. Actually, one person will play all three characters, who will never be seen in the same room.


*Schindler's List

A touching romp about the dark side of history, with songs by Gilbert and Sullivan ("I've Got a Little List, "Never Mind the Why and Wherefore"). Mel Gibson stars -- as Hitler.


*Forrest Gump

The Oscar-winning Best Picture will be transformed into a Busby Berkeley-style musical with Norbert Leo Butz singing "Life is like a box of chocolates" to the tune of "Life Is Just a Bowl of Cherries." Other songs include "My Name's Forrest Gump, People Call Me Forrest Gump," "Bubba's Megamix," and "Shrimp Boat's Comin'!"


*Dances With Wolves

And I mean dances and more dances! This will be the most choreographed western since Oklahoma! Julie Taymor provides the wolves.


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12 comments
alaker
alaker

Don't think for one second there won't be a Twilight musical.  The producers are already crying that Vincent Price is not around.  No chops, but hey, what does it matter.  He'd have filled the seats.

Southern Dave
Southern Dave

How about a Broadway musical called "Poverty of Imagination"?

Musto
Musto

I've just been reminded that there really is a Dances with Wolves musical in the works too!

GAlessandrini
GAlessandrini

Gump singing "Life is just a box of chocolates" to the tune of "Cherries" was the opening of FORBIDDEN HOLLYWOOD.  How many years behind the times ARE you?

Fiducia
Fiducia

Well, since you, the author, are the only one who brought it up here, I guess a lot of people didn't happen to catch that.

Southern Dave
Southern Dave

"The King's Speech"!

When he starts to stutter-sing, it will be "The Song That Never Ends"! They'll need a dinner break, like "Strange Interlude."

Whitney Houston in "Lady Sings the Blues." A reality musical -- no script, just get a camera crew to follow her around.

Sanguine
Sanguine

There really IS a King's Speech musical in the works. SERIOUSLY.

Sanguine
Sanguine

I am so there for Crazy Bitch The Musical! How do I get tickets?

Ibizajoe
Ibizajoe

These are funny but the really scary thing is that some of them will probably actually happen.

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