The Weirdest Pedophile Songs Of All Time

Categories: Music

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Way back in the '60s, there emerged a bizarre musical genre -- guys singing about their attraction to underage girls and how wrong it was!

In 1967, Neil Diamond belted the suggestive "Girl, You'll Be a Woman Soon." ("Please come take my hand / Girl, you'll be a woman soon / Soon, you'll need a man.")

You can feel Neil's swelling hormones as he urges himself to just wait a few seconds till their lovin' will be right under the law.

A year later, Gary Puckett & the Union Gap came out with the way more decisive male-fantasy-wrapped-in-a-cautionary-tale "Young Girl," which went like so:

"Beneath your perfume and your makeup / You're just a baby in disguise

"And though you know that it is wrong to be alone with me / That come-on look is in your eyes."

But Puckett wasn't having it.

The song's highly ethical conclusion: "You'd better run, girl! You're much too young, girl!"

And "Go Away, Little Girl" -- which was released in 1962 and reached a peak with the 1971 Donny Osmond cover -- always gave me the creeps every time the phrase "little girl" came up.

But one song had the balls to actually embrace generation-mixing without shame or pretense.

1960 is when the world first heard "You come on like a dream, peaches and cream, lips like strawberry wine / You're 16, you're beautiful, and you're mine."

In 1974, Ringo Starr went to number one with his cover version of that sick mess -- and, by the way, the song was written by the Sherman Brothers of Mary Poppins fame!

They certainly knew about young, impressionable minds.



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49 comments
lane.arndt
lane.arndt

Little Girls by Nat King Cole among others:

Little little girl, you're the one girl for me, little little girl, just as sweet as can be. just a glance from you, meant love from the start, oh what a thrill, came into my heart

blee016
blee016

attractions to 16 year olds is not pedophilia, pedophilllia is prepubescent girls. every man in the world is attracted to 16 year olds .. face the facts

Saint
Saint

What about "Vehicle" by Ides of March?  Totally struck me as a pedophile song.  He offers candy to this girl to get inside his car.  Um... red flag!"I'm the friendly stranger in the black sedan/won't you hop inside my car?/I've got pictures, got candy, I'm a loveable man/and I can take you to the nearest star"

Not to mention, "I want to, got to have you child"

YankSportFan
YankSportFan

In my opinion, the all-time most pedophile song of all has to be "Sex & Candy" by Marcy Playground.  Really, Sex & Candy?  At the beginning of this song's full version, you can hear kids playing in playground - ugh!!  Read on...  

Hangin' round downtown by myself ...(LIKE A PEDOPHILE)And I had so much time ...(AGAIN PEDOPHILE-LIKE BEHAVIOR)To sit and think about myself ...(HAVING NASTY THOUGHTS)And then there she was ...(THIS GUY'S CLEARLY STARING AT KIDS)Like double cherry pie ...(UGH!)Yeah there she was ...(DOUBLE UGH!)Like disco super-fly ...(WHAT?!)I smell sex and candy here ...(How 'bout dildos & rattles? Smell those too?  WTF!?)Who's that lounging in my chair ...(STALKING)Who's that casting devious stares ...(SEES WHAT HE WANTS TO SEE)In my direction ...(...)Mama this surely is a dream ...(JUST PLAIN NASTY)

--  I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline, NBC!!  LOL!

Sad thing is that used to like this song until I started to listen carefully.  This should be the pedophile national anthem!!

Anaheimangels40
Anaheimangels40

KISS - CHRISTINE SIXTEEN: I DON'T USUALLY SAY THINGS LIKE THIS TO GIRLS YOUR AGE, BUT WHEN I SAW YOU COMING OUT OF SCHOOL THAT DAY, THAT DAY I KNEW, I KNEW, I'VE GOT TO HAVE YOU, I'VE GOT TO HAVE YOU...SHE'S BEEN AROUND, BUT SHE'S YOUNG AND CLEANI'VE GOT TO HAVE HER, CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT HER... KISS - GOIN' BLIND: LITTLE LADY CAN'T YOU SEE, YOU'RE SO YOUNG AND SO MUCH DIFFERENT THAN I, I'M 93, YOU'RE 16CAN'T YOU SEE I'M GOIN' BLIND

Anaheimangels40
Anaheimangels40

DONNY OSMOND??? HE WAS 14 YEARS OLD AT THE TIME, 13 YEARS OLD IF HE HAD NOT YET HAD HIS BIRTHDAY AT THE TIME OF RECORDING...YES THE LYRICS ARE QUESTIONABLE, BUT THE REFERENCE WAS TO DONNY WHO WAS A CHILD AT THE TIME OF RECORDING, IT SHOULD BE REFERENCED TO THE PERSON WHO WROTE THE SONG, NOT DONNY...

Frumpydump
Frumpydump

How about Winger's "She's Only Seventeen?"

Guest
Guest

Don't forget to add most versions of the lyrics of "You're 16 (and you're mine)" start with the appallingline of :"Okay, this is for all the little girls in the audience, including you. Goes like this"

mjm
mjm

I Love Rock n Roll, Joan Jett really gets her cougar on when she sings "must've been about 17"

Scruff712
Scruff712

"Don't Stand So Close to Me" by the Police. Based on "that famous book by Nabokov," according to der Stingkster.

Guest
Guest

This is such a square, conformist article.  

Mczekay
Mczekay

Edge of Seventeen, Stevie Nicks

Rod Smith
Rod Smith

You missed the best of them all, 'Kinko the Clown' by Ogden Edsl on The Rhino Brothers Presents The Worlds Worst Records.  The album was a mix of parodies and serious songs that were just horrendous in a strangely funny sort of way:

Kinko, Kinko, the kid-loving clownif the kids just love me back I'll never wear a frownKinko, Kinko, the kid loving clownif the kids just love me back I'll never wear a frown!!! Kinko's in his Kinko car, pockets full of changelots of dirty pictures and sticky candy canes.All the kids love Kinko for the presents that they getsilly leather clothes to wear and happy cigarettes....

Rogie
Rogie

Sweet-sounding and tenderly lyrical love songs where the final twist is: it's a baby girl! The ones that come to mind are Gilbert O'Sullivan's Clair and Brotherhood of Man's Save Your Kisses for Me. They assume that most listeners are innocent and therefore without malice - but after JonBenet Ramsey, society was forced to grow up and confront the reality of child sexualization. And that's just how it should be, otherwise everyone will still be pretending that priestly pedophilia doesn't exist.

Sakara
Sakara

YOUNGER GIRL----the lovin spoonful

SEXY AND 17----stray cats

CATHOLIC GIRLS....start much too late----billy joel

Belieber
Belieber

Justin Bieber singing to a baby ... A BABY!!!!

Jonster
Jonster

Into the Night by Benny Mardones

She's just 16 years oldLeave her alone, they say...

ww fan
ww fan

Billy Idol -Rock the cradel of love.

OlderThanMusto
OlderThanMusto

Guess they didn't listen to Andre Williams:

It's a rough temptation

But a common invitation

And a good association

But a quck elimination

That will take you out of circulation

Yes I'm talking about that younger generation

So take my advice fellas

For goodness sake

15, 16, 17 that's jail bait

palinisamoron
palinisamoron

"Jailbait" by Motörhead. Not on this list because it's awesome not weird.

Generalgruff
Generalgruff

Lemon Incest.  Not only pedophilia, but his own daughter.  Yuck!

Nphl
Nphl

Ahem....how about "Art Lover" by The Kinks???

Rabbit
Rabbit

"Why don't you come with me, little girl, on a magic carpet ride..."

Sprite
Sprite

really!? Oingo Boingo " Little Girls"

BoogieShoes
BoogieShoes

Don't forget "Christine Sixteen" by KISS.

"I've GOT to have you!!! I've GOT to have you!!"

Gay Movie Fan
Gay Movie Fan

How could you miss, "Claire" by Gilbert O'Sullivan.  Now that song was creepy.

Rochatter
Rochatter

Not even close Michael. As Van Morrison sang about the girl who "noboby can stop me lovin'" in Cypress Avenue (Astral Weeks album), "...so young and bold, fourteen years old..."

Krl5858
Krl5858

"PYT (Pretty Young Thing)" by everyone's favorite pedophile

Frank
Frank

Any song by Gary Glitter?

AndrewMilner
AndrewMilner

And don't forget "Thank Heaven for Little Girls" from GIGI.

CMG
CMG

Speaking of Neil Diamond, I really hope he was lying about seeing a photo of a young Caroline Kennedy on a pony as the origins for 'Sweet Caroline'.  Not only is the song terrible but the lyrics themselves lend itself to be on this list too once you consider he made a young girl he didn't know his muse.  

Rinko
Rinko

Thank you for writing about this weird genre of Pedophile Pop. Most people are afraid to note that it even existed.

Sam Roberts
Sam Roberts

My Sharona by The Knack always sounded creepy to me - "Always get it up for the touch of the younger kind..."

abelincoln501
abelincoln501

Wrong!!! Pedophilia refers to underage. 16 will get you 20. No, all men are not attracted to 16 year olds, only you... pervert!

angelwitharazor
angelwitharazor

Its just a different category of pedophilia its called: Ephebophilia, the attraction to late adolescent children.

JohnWozniak
JohnWozniak

@YankSportFanHey, I resemble that remark!  Haha!  My friend just showed me this thread and I had to say something, because I actually lol'd.  I lol'd because, yeah, I guess you're right... Sex and Candy *can* be looked at from a totally creepy point of view... but that perspective is all on you my friend... definitely not me. :)  The phrase Sex and Candy comes from a book written by Toni Morrison called "Song of Solomon' [1977].  The quote refers to her character, "Milkman."  She wrote: "He smelled money, although it was not a smell at all. It was like candy and sex and soft twinkling lights.”  The song is innocent.  I wrote it about crushing on a chick when I was 23.  At the time I didn't even like it that much... but I thought it kind of sounded Rolling Stones(ish) (lol! which of course, it doesn't...).  Anyway, I hope that helps....  :)  And get your mind out of the gutter... sheesh.  ;)  But thx for the chuckle.  Cheers.  Woz

IQTech53
IQTech53

@Guest Didn't actually read the article, did you? That was the very last example given.

Guest
Guest

ie, you are defining your morality via arbitrary legislation, rather than nature.  

mjm
mjm

covered by Lindsay Lohan of all people.

don't forget Rod Stewart's Tonight's the Night (Gonna Be All Right).

mjm
mjm

google 'Michael Jackson 1994 GQ article' and there's your proof that he's not a kiddie rapist.

Aguilera
Aguilera

This is a perfect one suitable to this theme. Nice discovery!

YUK to CMG
YUK to CMG

another instance of hearing too little and assuming too much - can see how your mind works -yuk !

For An Angel
For An Angel

Or maybe most people understand that pedophilia has to do with an attraction to PREpubescent children, not 16 and 17 year olds. By 12, most children have already reached puberty.

blee016
blee016

@abelincoln501 watch the film "Are All Men Pedophiles?" it's on netflix

Arachne
Arachne

Thank you, Mr. Polanski.

CMG
CMG

It was actually a common reaction by a lot of people when Diamond publicly mentioned this little factoid.  

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