Who Should Be The Oscar Host? Here Are My Picks

Categories: TV

Keith_Olbermann_-_small.jpg

Eddie Murphy has followed his homophobic pal Brett Ratner out the gay door, and now the Oscars are starting from square zero again, much like the Democrats did when John Edwards was revealed to have fathered a love child.

So who should swoop in and save the show's ass?

Naturally, I'm going to stick with my friends as choices.


(1) Keith Olbermann

It would be an Oscars everyone remembers for all time, especially ... everyone! The opening monologue alone!


(2) Joan Rivers

She'd be a riot, and she can incorporate Fashion Police into the actual event instead of having to wait till afterward to tear everyone's outfits apart.


(3) Kathy Griffin

Instead of dissing on reality stars, Kathy can concentrate on dicing up Hollywood biggies -- and they'd be forced to take it because they have to sit there and see if they win!


(4) Billy Crystal

Last year, when Billy emerged in the middle of the dismal telecast, the audience greeted him as if Jesus had returned one more time. And though he wasn't all that funny, he'll surely sparkle with some good material. We want to see that opening montage again!

(P.S.: No, he's not a friend, but it feels like he is.)


I'm now hearing that multiple hosts might be the way the show goes, so let's start booking the above four, plus Whoopi Goldberg and Neil Patrick Harris.

This could be a godsend.


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32 comments
Melinda9
Melinda9

Resurrect Johnny Carson.

Living Silver
Living Silver

I'll add another vote for the Muppets. Or at least Kermit. I don't ever watch the Oscars (I skim the results every year, but that's about it). Give me Muppets and I'll even watch the commercials.

tom
tom

Also would like to see Dave Chappelle do it. Would make for wonderfully uncomfortable moments.

Saffire
Saffire

Some people here can't read. They have announced Billy Crystal as the host. OK??

JW
JW

Billy Crystal bores me to tears. How about Anderson Cooper? Meryl Streep?

tom
tom

Alec Baldwin, he is funny (enough) and has a deep knowledge of history of Homowood. But he's probably pissed off too many of the prima donnas that run the movies....

Melinda9
Melinda9

Possible hosts:  1) Tina Fey 2) Eddie Izzard

Ron Bruguiere
Ron Bruguiere

Billy Crystal, on TMZ, just announced that he's hosting the Oscars.

Rhesus
Rhesus

Yay for Musto for picking Billy as a choice!

Gregorama
Gregorama

Yup....our MM gets it right once again.  And the talking heads are already parroting the phrase "safe choice" (referring to Crystal).  As if picking a level-headed, repeatedly-proven, mature and very funny star to fill the bill is somehow lame.  Well, they tried the "young Hollywood" approach this year and look at what a disaster it was---with some of the lowest ratings for any Oscar telecast, ever.  Sometimes, the "safe choice" is the "right choice".  Too bad they've been spinning in circles all these years when they should have kept him all along.

Monsieurpatric
Monsieurpatric

Keith would be fancifully splendid.  It occurs that Mr. Ricky Gervais passed a most interesting audition some months ago.  My partner pitches Bernie Madoff from his loneliness for the ratings boost the sorry show so needs.  Would Keith lower himself to entertain all the scientologists in the Kodak?

Michael Khalsa
Michael Khalsa

My vote goes for Billy Crystal & Whoopi Goldberg.

I have often wondered why Joan Rivers has not hosted. She said  that they hate her because she is not one of them.

A. Cooper
A. Cooper

Problem with Keith would be there would be no time left to actually present awards.  (Same with Charlie Rose.)

Flippant
Flippant

The Muppets are the obvious choice. I would actually tune in this year to see them. 

Lost Weekend
Lost Weekend

How about they bring out the rent boys and girls from Santa Monica Blvd and Sunset Blvd.?  Most of the Academy members are familiar with them somehow (personally or through watching one of their videos made in San Fernando Valley).  

Other advantages:  they do have "film" experience; they come relatively cheap; they aren't divas (yet); they would make for great entertainment at the post-Oscar parties.  Only downside is their ability to read the cue cards/teleprompter.

Bonus points:  When they announce the winner, they will go, "Oh, yeah, baby! Oh, yeah!"

Musto
Musto

Interestingly, Grazer had a run-in last year over a gay joke in a movie he produced! They took it out of the trailer, but left it in the movie!

I guess finding a Hollywood producer with NO homophobia in their files is not that easy.

billyjoe
billyjoe

They just announced the new producer will be Brian Grazer, so if Grazer's latest wife or girlfriend isn't up to the hosting task, he can ask Ron Howard.

Patches
Patches

He always seemed so gay.

CMG
CMG

Robert Downey Jr.  He is a Hollywood star but he probably would bring a lot of levity into a self-congratulatory evening.  I think he would be game for singing and dancing as long as he can be unaffected in every other way.  

Patchouli
Patchouli

If they want merciless shtick, they should steal Ricky Gervais away from the Golden Globes.

Melinda9
Melinda9

As far as Kathy Griffin and Joan Rivers, I agree with SMontgomery - if there's any mockery at the Oscars, it has to be softball, not the merciless schtick those two excel at. The stars are there to collect awards and accolades and admire each other. I'd definitely want to see KG or JR host though. Would Keith Olbermann even want to do it? It's such a thankless task - only for the thick skinned and hardy.

MSpeer
MSpeer

I am sick and tired of the whole show and all of the associated crap surrounding it. Just send me a ten minute highlight reel and I'll be fine. 

gcndc
gcndc

Neil Patrick Harris is a great host.  I have never like Billy Crystal as host, even though I know that is blasphemous to say.  I find him smug and unfunny.  Neil is really funny on the Tony awards, and he can sing and dance! 

Roar
Roar

Lisa's too much of a love/hate. And she's not all that hot careerwise right now. I could go for Whoopi again.

Savannah Montgomery
Savannah Montgomery

Keith...he's got the chops, but too "political" for Oscar...plus, they'd be scared he'd do "Worse Person in the Verld"  (I love hearing him say that every night)

Joan/Kathy...Oscar doesn't want to hear its true faults...(see Midler, Bette)

Billy...probably, Oscar can't get enough of it and he's "safe" when he joshes us.

My vote?   Lisa Kudrow....she could passive/agressive 'em to death and they wouldn't know it.

Whimsy
Whimsy

I hate multiple hosts! I like the idea of any of the people you named as the solo host.

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