Awkward Moment With An Ex Boyfriend

Categories: Musto on Musto

business-man-mistake-whoops.jpg

Or, more accurately, an ex-sex-buddy.

In 2003, I got a call from a guy I used to do it with, and was delighted to hear his voice.

He congratulated me on my success and I sputtered, "Aw, it's nothing! Just some writing and TV appearances, blah blah, nothing more!"

He gushed even more about how great I was doing, and I went into the faux-humble routine all over again -- "Oh, come on, I mean I'm doing all right, but nothing that major, aside from lots of recognition and book deals, blah blah."

Finally, he got to the point:

"I live in [small town] now and we're having an intimate but very important Gay Pride parade next month.

"We have a budget and we were thinking of which recognizable gay names we could send in to grand-marshal the parade ..."

"Oh, really?" I said, batting my eyelashes loudly while glancing at my empty schedule.

"And ... ? And ... ?"

"And so I tracked down your contact info and called to ask if you would ... ?"

"If I would ... ? If I would ... ?" By now, my lashes were batting so hard they were hurting each other.

"If you knew any way we could get in touch with the Queer Eye guys."

Jaw drop.

Skin blanche.

Your mother sucks cocks in hell.

"I guess call Bravo. So nice to hear from you," I cooed and firmly placed down the receiver, wishing I'd given him crabs.


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11 comments
Musto
Musto

I'm Mickey Mouse.

Winston
Winston

Musto is always the top. Cole Porter wrote that song about him.

Jessica
Jessica

I am a 26 years old girl, down to earth and cute but still single ... I  wanna find my lover who  can give me a real love,so I joined in the seekcasual.COM,it's the best club for  man and woman finding their intimate encounters. Well, you do not have to be lonely , you  can meet the Mr. or Miss. Right there.

Corine
Corine

LOL. You are so much bigger just take back that remark about Marie Osmond. Seriously it was evil.

Parvenu
Parvenu

That guys sounds totally clueless. Good for you for hanging up!

Steffi
Steffi

This is why you should never answer when an ex tries to contact you. Never!!

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