Have I Got A Hot Date For You! (Photos Inside)

Categories: Advice

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Your sizzling date with this dream man will start with some mutual touching in the model-train room. Isn't that what you've always fantasized about? No?

That's followed by some hot action where you stomp about the room like a monster, but please don't break the trains and buildings. "They are my sons," he warns.

"We can do this until 4 a.m.," adds the guy, "or until we get tired."

Oh, please! Kicking model trains with this guy sounds like so much amazing fun I'm sure any date would want to do it till the break of dawn three days later!!

And that's not the end of it, either.

The dreamboat offers "lots of imitation crab meat in my freezer that I need to get rid of."

Sounds so delicious and sexy, no? And it feels so good to help someone dispose of his fake food supply.

But it turns out it's all too good to be true. Here's the deal breaker.

"I'm not gay," the choo-choo man specifies as willies deflate all over the country.

I know! A gay would have real crab meat.


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Thanks to La Daily Musto regular Jack E. Jett for the tip-off.



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16 comments
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Sean
Sean

Wow, my dad is 50 and doesn't look as old as that guy.

Melinda9
Melinda9

'i'm not gay', but females need not apply for the touching and stomping fun.

Movielover
Movielover

My aunt would say, "In my day, nice girls didn't masturbate with men they didn't know.  Or stomp."

Ida
Ida

Go ask him for some imitation crab meat.

Movielover
Movielover

You could just ask what kind of meat he has and see if he says fake crab.

latenitebump
latenitebump

funny!° he looks exactly like the man sitting next me, right now, in the internet cafe ( shirt on, of course).

Normadesmond
Normadesmond

if it was the acela, i might consider it.

Fingers
Fingers

I'll gladly play Godzilla to his W.C.

Movielover
Movielover

He's handsome.  He's young!  Alright he's 62 (and none too young-for-his-age).  Kinda W.C. Fields-ee. 

Notyah Nalla
Notyah Nalla

Is it imitation crab, or the remains of hapless victims who answered his ad?

Riposte
Riposte

He looks like someone who used to be on The Jeffersons.

Musto
Musto

PS: When he says the model trains "are my sons," I think he means they belong to his son, not that they actually ARE his sons, but I'm not totally sure.

Melinda9
Melinda9

I was wondering why it was okay to kick 'his sons'.

Nonplussed
Nonplussed

I'll do anything for some of that free imitation crab meat you mad romantic you!

Melinda9
Melinda9

They say that everyone can find their sexual/porn needs niche on the internet. Jerking off in the model train room is just another strange thing in a long list of strange things. I wonder if he knows his picture has escaped the confines of Craigslist.

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