Let Me Cliche You Into The New Year

Categories: Advice

cliches.jpg

December 31 is almost part of the fabric of our landscape, so at this point in time, I have to share something while it's still -- wait for it -- percolating:

You know the drill.

The trajectory we've taken has resonated.

It's been really impactful.

In fact, its effect is plainly palpable, and I'm so glad we've navigated this relationship.

You've tapped into your inner diva and you've killed it.

You've knocked it out of the park. Big time.

You're part of the tapestry of my life.

You asked the universe for this and you really nailed it.

You contributed to my Kickstarter campaign. Grade pending.

And in the process, you've empowered me.

(Silence.)

Awkward.

Too soon?

Baby steps.

Sorry I was so over-the-top.

So in-your-face.

I was a little pitchy, using too many head tones.

I was off my meds.

But don't paint yourself a victim.

I'm in the moment. Ish.

I'm forever pushing envelopes and pushing buttons.

Why don't you factor that in?

I need a juice cleanse and some gluten-free pizza.

I wish! That would be amazeballs.

That would have such gravitas.

Fingers crossed.

Comic gold.

Anyway, enough about me.

You really speak to me.

You're my bestie -- and I mean that in a good way.

News flash! I'd catch a grenade for you.

Love you, let's get together.

Get a room.

What she said.

Suck it up.

So ghetto.

Fine. Be that way.

I'll cut you.

Happy New Year and wishing you all the best.

Done and done.



Advertisement

My Voice Nation Help
10 comments
Sort: Newest | Oldest
Mike Diamond
Mike Diamond

Honey I think you just wrote a bitch track!

Hephastion
Hephastion

That list is so vagenius! (blecch!)

Monsieurpatric
Monsieurpatric

We'd hoped that the treacherous tripe "...at the end of the day" had finally gone its way to some rung of hell.  Yet, an Egyptian interviewee cast it appealingly as "...dendadeedee" and made it a da da wonderment of inanity all over again!

Helene
Helene

Fine. Be that way.

Timmmyk
Timmmyk

Got it. Going forward, you need to know that this mission critical listicle is what it is.

Honks
Honks

Oh dear! I have said your writing was 'comedy gold'!!!! And sometimes I am off my meds...but not now LOL (cliche?) xo Happy Happy

Abe
Abe

OMG I spit out my coffee. You really summed it up.

Loading...