My Christmas Gifts For Celebrities

Categories: Advice

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Here comes Santa Musto trying to squeeze his ass down various celebrities' chimneys to give them a steaming pile of the following appropriate presents for their futures:


*A DVD of Schindler's List for the messy, mouthy John Galliano.

Learn it, bitch!


*DVDs of Boys in the Band, Brokeback Mountain, and J. Edgar for the equally inappropriate Brett Ratner.

Feel the gay pain, honey!


*Heaping slices of shit pie for those indiscreet messers-aroud with maids/housekeepers, Arnold Schwzennegger and Dominique Strauss-Kahn.

Down it all with special cream on top, oinkers!


*A land phone for Anthony Weiner.

No chance for sexting!


*Toys and other playthings for all of those boyfriends/girlfriends who are at least a quarter-century younger than their celebrity "mentors."

You know who you are!


*And speaking of young'uns:

For that cute little, do-no-wrong Justin Bieber ...

Condoms!


(Kidding, kid. That paternity claim was a bust. But hey, get some condoms anyway and have a great holiday.)

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6 comments
Sophie
Sophie

Laughing out load for all the comments you gave to all the actors specially for Brett Ratner who truly made me laugh so much. With this movie i too would say  this same lines ' Feel the gay pain!'. Very aggressive and bold post you know but it was fun reading it, I didn't expect this. Sophie My blog :  http://www.baindesoleilpascher.com

Rebecca Sunset
Rebecca Sunset

Great photos on this post! I love reading about celeb gossip. You should check out this site (hotfromtheback.com) it also as some funny celeb photos. The idea is you rate the back to see the front. 

Movielover
Movielover

Did Justie get a new hairdo?  I haven't seen him lately, but maybe I didn't recognize him if he wasn't done up like Rod Blow Vadge a Vitch.

Ick
Ick

Justin Bieber has threatened to start rapping. Let's get him a muzzle!

Squeak
Squeak

Condoms for all the above!

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