The Couple Of The Year!

Categories: Celebs


No, it wasn't Beyoncé and Jay-Z or Lindsay Lohan and the magistrate.

It was Buddy and Pedro, the hot-looking penguins at the Toronto zoo.

They were so in love when they were tragically forced to separate because of breeding season.

(Ridiculous! Couldn't they just adopt?)

But plans were then afoot to reunite the lovebirds. Aww! Happy times.

But hold on -- insiders feared that Buddy and Pedro might actually reject the reunion!

"Will they want to stay together after copulating and bonding with a female?" asked ABC News in a breaking report.

My crazy opinion here ... just hazarding a guess out of thin air ...


The next march of these penguins, I was certain, would surely be down the wedding aisle.

But horrid reality intervened.

Here's the update:

Buddy did end up doing some stuff with a female, under pressure. They forced him, probably via electroshock!

But Pedro couldn't seem to manage it, no matter how hard he tried.

Been there!

And when the two former lovers were together again in adjacent nesting areas, they had a huge fight! All the love was gone, thanks to the intervention of zoological science.

See how the "ex-gay" thing just doesn't work?

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How do you determine if they are gay? Do you have a device or system to check that? I just got curious about it, that's all.

"Ivan" for 

pompe aquarium externe 


Zoos are fucked up places. It's not enough to hold the animals captive - they have to conduct their fascistic experiments.


They should call it the Bachmann Zoo.


Even at the zoo, they're trying to make creatures straight??