The Couple Of The Year!

Categories: Celebs

6a00d8341c730253ef015392de620b970b-800wi.jpg

No, it wasn't Beyoncé and Jay-Z or Lindsay Lohan and the magistrate.

It was Buddy and Pedro, the hot-looking penguins at the Toronto zoo.

They were so in love when they were tragically forced to separate because of breeding season.

(Ridiculous! Couldn't they just adopt?)

But plans were then afoot to reunite the lovebirds. Aww! Happy times.

But hold on -- insiders feared that Buddy and Pedro might actually reject the reunion!

"Will they want to stay together after copulating and bonding with a female?" asked ABC News in a breaking report.

My crazy opinion here ... just hazarding a guess out of thin air ...

YES!!!!!

The next march of these penguins, I was certain, would surely be down the wedding aisle.

But horrid reality intervened.

Here's the update:

Buddy did end up doing some stuff with a female, under pressure. They forced him, probably via electroshock!

But Pedro couldn't seem to manage it, no matter how hard he tried.

Been there!

And when the two former lovers were together again in adjacent nesting areas, they had a huge fight! All the love was gone, thanks to the intervention of zoological science.

See how the "ex-gay" thing just doesn't work?


My Voice Nation Help
4 comments
Sort: Newest | Oldest
Ivan
Ivan

How do you determine if they are gay? Do you have a device or system to check that? I just got curious about it, that's all.

"Ivan" for 

pompe aquarium externe 

Melinda9
Melinda9

Zoos are fucked up places. It's not enough to hold the animals captive - they have to conduct their fascistic experiments.

Gherkin
Gherkin

They should call it the Bachmann Zoo.

Ick
Ick

Even at the zoo, they're trying to make creatures straight??

Loading...