What Do You Do At Midnight On New Year's?

Categories: Advice

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Creepy confession:

Every year, when the clock strikes 12 on New Year's Eve -- or actually, a few moments before that -- I run to the nearest bathroom and dutifully lock myself in like self-exiled royalty.

I detest cheap sentiment and can't stand the idea of kissing each person in the room in celebration, especially since I've already kissed them all hello!

It seems utterly redundant, and it also feels embarrassing and at times hypocritical because I don't even like some of the people!

Besides, New Year's brings back awful childhood memories of a time when the stroke of midnight was considered a sad event for certain relatives (they'd bizarrely erupt into tears), not a moment for celebration and confetti.

Like a really old Pavlovian dog in need of therapy, I hear the countdown and start crying over all the bad things that happened last year.

But I hope you're not like me in the least.

I pray you kiss your loved ones at the stroke of 12, and are overcome with glee and optimism as I'm trapped in the bathroom in a hell of a my own making.

I hope you even have sex!



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16 comments
tantara
tantara

I *adore* cheap sentiment.

Nonplussed
Nonplussed

Someone mistakenly locked me on a roof top this year and I was saved at 11.50, after throwing a "help, I'm trapped; save me" note into the courtyard, by a twenty-three year old handsome young stranger with whom I watched the fireworks and commiserated about the lack of New Year calls, texts or better people to be with. "Sorry it's me" I said, "sorry it's me" he replied and we hugged each other a platonic happy new year. It was rather sweet.Happy new year MM.

Matthew Borel
Matthew Borel

To quote Woody Allen, "I like to dive into a bathtub full of Roosevelt dimes."

Dick C.
Dick C.

Happy New Year Michael.....

You are special......

Walt
Walt

Wake up. Comfort my dogs when the fireworks start. Go back to sleep.

MartinNYID
MartinNYID

New Year's Eve is remotely interesting until11:59. But then again, you can have the same fun at 3am any Sunday night in a Diner. -mlb

candy
candy

Im going to try that this years

Corinedanacohen
Corinedanacohen

Awww. That's sad. I hope this year you find a special man and make love. No crying you are a super writer and a big success.

JEWISHPRINCESS0
JEWISHPRINCESS0

Michael..is there room in the bathroom for two?My sister was a published poet at the age of 19  and left behind a very long list of her study of every kind of phobias.She died at the age of 22 from who know's what.in 1958.Her birthday was on New Year's Day.!

Dingo
Dingo

I just yawn and roll my eyes. it's certainly not worth tears, darling!

Southern Dave
Southern Dave

At a certain point in life, New Year's Eve -- to paraphrase the song "16 Tons" -- means "another year older and you're deeper in debt." Especially as it always seems to come after Christmas.

Musto
Musto

Thank you. Still locked in the bathroom.

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