The Worst Movies Of The Year: My Picks

Categories: Film

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Or let's just say my least favorites, since I didn't see everything, as hard as I tried.


Thor

Sorry, I thought this warrior-banished-to-earth romp didn't work on most levels. The action wasn't thrilling, the humor wasn't funny, and the whole thing seemed as silly as the outfits. But it made $181 million domestically, so what on earth do I know? Nothing!


Super 8

Again, a letdown, especially since the big train wreck looked jumbled to me and the whole thing was a pale shadow of '80s stuff it was based on. (Did you ever think we'd look back on The Goonies as a towering achievement in comparison with anything?)


Cowboys & Aliens

It started strongly, but once they got into the action -- nonstop screechy attacks -- this film became unbearable, especially since it all seemed so random, with the creatures jumping out whenever the film needed another jolt. The whole thing was so nerve-wracking I started rooting for the aliens.


Everything Must Go

Including the movie! Good try for Will Ferrell in this adaptation of a Raymond Carver story about an alcoholic who loses his job and his wife and ends up living on his lawn. But the lack of pacing made for a threadbare nonevent that was like a yard sale with no merch. Dull and pointless. It actually came out last year, but it annoyed me so much I'm counting it for this year, too.


And finally, two movies I walked out on:

Machine Gun Preacher, with Gerald Butler as an ex-con who goes to Africa and finds banality. ("What do you guys do?" "We're freedom fighters!")

And Seven Days in Utopia, an inspiring Christian movie about golf that seemed way longer than seven days, even though I only stayed for 20 minutes.

But I wouldn't have changed a second of it. I live for bad movies!

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22 comments
Yude201119
Yude201119

Maybe yiou should watch the Twilight Saga.

CMG
CMG

 Ugh, I completely forgot about Breaking Dawn.  I cannot believe (actually I can, think $$$$) they split that dreck into two films.  At least in the case of Harry Potter and The Hobbit, the books are huge tomes that had plenty of details to indulge audiences for two films.  There was seriously just marriage, sex, birth, transformation in this movie and none of which were entertaining besides the laughable sex scene.

Danna
Danna

I hated the Julia Roberts butt oasis laser movie!

Count Chocula
Count Chocula

If you paid $13 to see "Machine Gun Preacher", you got exactly what you deserved.

Vivi
Vivi

Do you really think Musto paid to see Machine Gun Preacher??? He gets press screenings and premieres.

CMG
CMG

Sucker PunchUgly look that fits an ugly movie.  Terrible soundtrack of emo covers to classic songs.  Over the top acting by Carla Gugino and Oscar Isaac, both of whom I like, and mily Downing sleepwalking.  I have no idea what exactly Zack Snyder was trying to tell (in fact, what year did this piece of crap take place?) and I find those who defend it as a feminist piece to be laughable.  Yeah, its Freudian nods have the subtlety of a sledgehammer and it goes nowhere thanks to terrible storytelling and the believability that a young girl would dream of wearing an outfit fit for Sailor Moon when she is sent to a psych ward was just plain dumb. 

One DayAnne Hathaway and Patricia Clarkson mockney was a terrible experience enough but I found myself interchangeably hating both characters and the cheap, emotional ending (who knew City of Angels could get ripped off?) was unearned.  I know this was a novel but I would have much rather have seen the friendship but terrible coupling of Rafe Spall and Anne Hathaway's characters. 

Your HighnessWhat has become of David Gordon Green?  Waste of a lot of actors I like and while I like Danny McBride, he is still more of a sidekick and I say that as somebody who applauds any film that goes for the unconventional leading man, especially in comedies.  The humor was so stale that I am not even sure if I was baked at the time I would laugh.  I was waiting for it to be compelling with a possible twist on the genre but it was cliche as could be. 

I agree about Super 8.  It was perfectly fine when it was just about the kids wanting to make their movie.  That trainwreck was the biggest ode to Spielberg, his most recent low the nuke the fridge scene in Indiana Jones, than anything else in the film besides the John Williams-like score which was nice but emotionally manipulative in the final act.  I could have cared less about the alien that looks like every JJ Abrams monster or Abrams' personal obsession with lens flare.  And the daddy issues angle was just too Spielberg-y and unnecessary.  Plus the '79 cultural references unrelated to films were just eye-roll inducing.  

Thor was just felt like a rushed production with Branagh in love with making Asgard Shakespeare community theater and having Portman and Skargard play life on Earth like an episode out of The Big Bang Theory.  Least favorite of the Marvel films or Avenger related films that have come out but Loki and Thor were great, and I can take solace in the likelihood that Joss Whedon will give those characters proper treatment in The Avengers. 

Sims
Sims

Angelina's movie is up for a Golden Globe. That doesn't automatically make it good, but still, I wouldn't rush to say it's one of the worst just because a celebrity directed it.

W.E., on the other hand...

mjm
mjm

worst movies of the year:-Mission Impossible 4: Gay Protocol-Jack and Jill-The Smurfs-Harold and Kumar Christmas-Super 8-Cars 2-The Zookeeper-W.E. (Madge is no director...)-Water for Elephants-Your Highness -X Men First Class-Angelina Jolie's Bosnia movie-The Change Up-Colombiana-Twilight: Breaking Dawn Pt. 1 -The Dilemma-Don't Be Afraid of the Dark-Abduction-Just Go with It-Transformers 3-Pirates of the Caribbean On Stranger Tides-Rum Diary-What's Your Number-Spy Kids 4-New Year's Eve aka Extended Love Boat Episode-Larry Crowne-Something Borrowed-Rise of the Planet of the Apes (Mr. Artsy Fartsy himself James Franco in the sequel of all sequels)-Madea's Big Happy Family-The Three Musketeers -Conan the Barbarian-Sucker Punch (Girl Interrupted with machine guns... yeah...)-Alvin and the Chipmunks 3-Dream House-Monte Carlo-Priest-Mr. Popper's Penguins-Anonymous (the movie about Shakespeare being a fake)-Arthur (terrible remake)-Prom (Disney remaking their own High School Musical)-Atlas Shrugged Part 1 (made by Ayn Rand culties)-Bad Teacher-Red Riding Hood-Drive Angry-Beastly (Vanessa Hudgens and Mary Kate Olsen in the same movie??!?!)-Big Mommas Like Father Like Son-Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star -Captain America-Final Destination 5-Scream 4-Season of the Witch-Gnomeo and Juliet-Hall Pass-Hangover II-The Roommate -Happy Feet 2-Hoodwinked 2-Hop -Horrible Bosses-I Don't Know How She Does It-I Am Number Four-Judy Moody-Johnny English Reborn-

CMG
CMG

 You got to see Angelina's movie?  How? 

Willard
Willard

A lot of those are sequels or remakes which aren't SUPPOSED to be good. They're just supposed to make money. But I liked "Gnomeo & Juliet" and didn't mind "Don't Be Afraid of the Dark."

Rob in Philly
Rob in Philly

The wolf's having a psychic conversation in Twilight: Breaking Dawn was the single worst scene of the year, I went all inside-out in my seat watching it--and I'm a big Twilight fan. 

Terrence Aybar
Terrence Aybar

Aw c'mon, Thor was good! Better than Captain America at least.

Punkeesha
Punkeesha

Thor was horrendous. The only thing worth seeing in it was Idris Elba. Able I was, ere and after I saw Elba!

CMG
CMG

Absolutely not!  No matter how you slice it, Joe Johnston knew when there was not a time to obsessively use Dutch angle shots for action scenes.  And it had a Menken musical number.  Cap wins!

Savannah Montgomery
Savannah Montgomery

I'll go out on a limb and nominate "The Descendants " (even though the critics loved it).

Every time you thought something was going to happen (drama-wise) it didn't...the best part was grandpa slugging the teen boyfriend.

I had to go back and re-read the reviews...yup, the point was "no-drama"....sheesh.

Madge
Madge

The Descendants was predictable, unoriginal, dull and at times poorly acted. There's a Cult of Clooney going on, where everybody regards him as a "serious actor" and political activitist but seriously folks, that guy hasn't been in a truly great film yet. And the Descendants was one of his low points.

Savannah Montgomery
Savannah Montgomery

I'll even amend that to (drama/comedy-wise)...since the trailers makes the most of Clooney running (flip flop, flip flop!) and peeking over the bushes (BOING!!!) you thought you're getting a good dramedy.

Musto
Musto

PS: "Abduction" had a lot of bad stuff, but wasn't one of the year's five worst. Same for "Larry Crowne."

I didn't see "Jack & Jill" but that one seems Razzie-bound.

Savannah Montgomery
Savannah Montgomery

J&J...yup..but Sandler will not come to terms that SNL was his best years.

Stefon
Stefon

Actually, his best years were "Remote Control" on MTV.

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