A January Vacation Week For Healing And Regrouping

Categories: Musto on Musto

table.jpeg
Even the operating table had my face on it!

I've had my second foot surgery to remove those protruding things that made it impossible for me to wear actual shoes!

If I'd kept going with those barfy bunions, I'd be forced to continue wearing all sorts of Kmart slippers, galoshes, and so on, with various plastic bags and pillowcases for extra layering -- a real mess.

It looked terribly fashion-forward, mind you, but still, it just wasn't healthy! My feet were always feeling frozen and squozen, and it was the biggest nightmare I'd ever experienced below my knees.

So I went under the knife. Twice. Double OUCH!!!

Kindly give me this week to recover and try to look presentable again.

Meanwhile, even in traction, I've managed to type up an absolutely marvelous column for you, and I'll be sure to hobble over to the computer and alert you to it on Wednesday.

And then it's right back to keeping my feet -- and in fact, my entire legs -- elevated high in the air!

I probably would have anyway!



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26 comments
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Frankiefrank
Frankiefrank

I don't why, Michael, but I laughed my ass off. Sorry. Your bunions reminded me of my mother-in-law's. She was so sure she was gonna die, she told me where she hid the jewelry. Mine, it turns out. She's a real klepto. Feel better. You are funnier in pain than most people are when they're feeling fine. 

VonD
VonD

Please feel better, Musto, and I hope your kicks are kicking fiercely soon!

alaimo
alaimo

I know what it's like! Were I closer to NYC, I'd loan you my surgical boot... ugly but functional.

JEWISHPRINCESS0
JEWISHPRINCESS0

You would have anyway.!I know the pain after foot surgery..I worked at Desert Hospital long enough to see many  people recoup.GET WELL....and I am anxious for you to return to work even if you have come to love being in traction.

nostradavid
nostradavid

I remember seeing those gnarly things on my aunts feet - and she would stuff her feet into high heels 2 sizes too small. Best of luck healing up.What helps me is finding fun ways to verbalize problems. Imagine how the Louisiana chef Justin Wilson would pronounce it: BUHN-YAWNS!That will help - I GAWRONTEE! 

Abel
Abel

I'm so entertained by, and grateful for, your column that I will happily excuse you to recover, as long as you do come back!  Some of us in the hinterlands cannot do without you!  Get well soon, and be sure to get good supportive shoes.  No more 5 inch heels!

Musto
Musto

Thank you so much. Don't worry, there will be a column tomorrow.

Lutibelle
Lutibelle

Loe the column you posted on the blog about the B;lair Witch gal who went on to a life of growing medical marijuana. Her conversation with her vajayjay--priceless.

candy
candy

Feel Better!, wonder what you thought of Mayor Bloomberg and Lady gaga kissing?:)

Findingnamo
Findingnamo

Best wishes on your transition!  xo

Southern Dave
Southern Dave

I can stand anything but pain!

Do like the doctor man sez and he'll give you something sweet to suck on.

I see you lolling on white satin sheets, trying on a hat, like Jean Harlow in "Dinner at Eight."

Charlie
Charlie

I went through a couple of surgeries last year.  It's all good until the anesthetic wears off.  Don't try to be brave and take one pain pill every six hours like I was doing...go for the two every four to six hours.  That'll get you through that first awful few days.  I'm glad you've got people there to help.  Now that your feet are fixed, don't be turning into Carrie Bradshaw!  Get well soon Michael! Happy New Year.

Andrea
Andrea

Feel better honey! I want to see you in high heels by Spring.

Corine
Corine

Feel better Musto! 

Honks
Honks

Enjoy the painkillers!

Monsieurpatric
Monsieurpatric

This allows a moment's opportunity to call attention to the gift that is your column.  Thanks for the excellent chronicling of events. Humor's the greatest teacher, Professeur Musto. 

Musto
Musto

Thank you, Monsieurparic. And yes, Savannah, I have friends waiting on me hand and foot, as it were. I could get used to this. And thank God for the Twilight Zone marathon!

Savannah Montgomery
Savannah Montgomery

Foot pain is the worse. Don't push it [recovery]

...just think "Toot, toot, tootsie [foot pain] Goodbye!

Hopefully, you have someone to wait hand and "foot" for you.

Musto
Musto

I did the first one a month ago. When you get home from the hospital, it's fine. But then the anesthetic wears off! I popped pain killers but they didn't do much. I was in agony for several days and could only hop around on one foot, screaming. Some days after that I hopped into a cab and went to an event but I overextended myself and had to rest up for a few days. This time I'll probably be more cautious, but then again, maybe not.

JEWISHPRINCESS0
JEWISHPRINCESS0

MichaelSince I live in Palm Springs and the only thing you can really get delivered is Pizza...... who brought you food and don't tell me you cooked.

Troofire
Troofire

we want to see pictures before and after.

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