Cynthia Nixon Says She Chose To Be Gay! Oops! Controversy!

Categories: Gaaaaayyyyyy

Cynthia_Nixon_2009_portrait.jpg
David Shankbone/Wikipedia

I didn't choose it, though I do remember a pubescent period where I felt it could probably have gone either way.

But after gamely trying to get turned on by photos of women (even women who looked a bit like guys), I realized I could just as easily pretend to be the Queen of Roumania.

I was definitely "that way."

But Cynthia Nixon chose it, and she's not gonna eat her words.

The actress -- currently starring on Broadway in Wit -- told the Times:

"For me, it is a choice.

"It doesn't mater if we flew here or we swam here, it matters that we are here and we are one group and let us stop trying to make a litmus test for who is considered gay and who is not."

Do you choose to agree with her?

Gay blogger John Aravosis doesn't. In fact, he's pissed.

He writes:

"It's only a choice among flavors I already like. And if you like both flavors, men and women, you're bisexual, you're not gay, so please don't tell people that you are gay, and that gay people can 'choose' their sexual orientation, i.e., will it out of nowhere. Because they can't.

"And when you tell the NYT they can, you do tremendous damage to our civil rights effort. Every religious right hatemonger is now going to quote this woman every single time they want to deny us our civil rights. Thanks ...

"[W]hen you say things like this, using incendiary buzzwords that don't really mean what you're trying to say -- when you try to define the rest of us by your incredibly poorly chosen, and incorrect, words -- you hurt us all. This was an incredibly irresponsible interview ..."

Thanks to Rex Wockner for the research.



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47 comments
Guest
Guest

This story had an important update that should be included here. She isn't bisexual because "nobody likes bisexuals." It's relevant and some of the commentators here don't seem to be aware of it. 

Guest
Guest

I originally supported her right to tell it however she likes and not be worried by the way her words will be used to hurt young gay people, because I felt she should not be responsible for her truth being misused by bigots. 

But the next day she said she was bisexual! http://www.towleroad.com/2012/... It's in the title in the link, She said she didn't call herself bisexual because nobody likes bisexuals. 

Note also that her original statement about saying she chose to be gay was made in reference to an empowerment speech she made to a gay audience! She was complaining that people won't let her be straight and then gay, and the whole time it's a front. 

She has no credibility at all and we need to stop looking to celebrities to legitimize anything. 

Crystal
Crystal

I think her words were taken out of context. She likely meant that she choose to come out of the closest and pursue relationships with females. I find it hard to believe that person can choose to be gay (I know I can't choose being straight) because sexual attraction can't be forced. You are either attracted to a person or you are not, it can be forced. If I decided to start dating women, it wouldn't change the fact that women don't turn me on.

NeoAdamite
NeoAdamite

I'm on Nixon's side here, as I know other people like her.Sexual desire is inherently anarchic, and letting your enemies tell you how to think is the road to hell. Making the political movement depend on "it's not a choice" is already conceding defeat; you should stand up for your right to consensual relations with any bodies you choose.

My LTR was 100% gay in the 70s, bi in the 80s, and is now straight-identified; but says it could have turned out differently if it wasn't for our particular (and peculiar) relationship.

Soli
Soli

Finally and honest one.

J. Gomez
J. Gomez

She plainly states that "for [her] it's a choice" how are we going to deny her liberty of how she defines her sexuality while at the same time trying to make a case for our own civil rights? 

Casual Observer
Casual Observer

I applaud her honesty. People need to accept HER truth, whether they like it or not. They should not be putting words in her mouth or surmising that she is bisexual. I know several lesbians and a few gay men who have admitted to me that they DID choose their sexality. Each had their own reasons. However for most of the women, it was a choice after years of being mistreated or abused in heterosexual relationships. One of the women, though, had been sentenced to prison in her late 20s for a nonviolent crime. She developed relationships in prison with other inmates during her sentence for protection and to avoid the loneliness that comes with prolonged incarceration. After her release from prison, she was happily married to a man for several years. After he died, she, as she put it, decided to resume her relationships with women for a time.Currently, she is married to her second husband. I take people at their word. If someone says they chose their sexuality, I believe them. If they say they were born gay, so be it.

Lchrystal
Lchrystal

And why can't people choose?  We can choose anything else in life but the person with whom we're having sex with?  That has to be biologically/pschologically predetermined?What ever happened to thinking?I have never understood why we can choose anything but our sex partners - we can't choose?Has no one understood that evolution is still ongoing? 

SariRainMJ
SariRainMJ

Wrong choice of words. I think, like many people her age, she just doesn't understand that sexuality isn't black or white. It's not all gay or straight. You can be in straight relationships, and then be in gay relationships, but that doesn't mean you chose to be gay. It means you're a bisexual (pansexual, sexually fluid, whichever term you prefer.) I think that's also why a lot of girls my age say they're bisexual, but a lot of women my mom's age divorce their husbands as "straight" women and end up in gay relationships. I think people also need to understand that just because someone is a queer person doesn't mean they are an authority on queer issues. For her, it might have seemed like she chose being gay, but it was probably that she was always attracted to women in some way, and tried to ignore it for most of her life. It's said that women tend to be bisexual more than men, but who knows. 

Anon
Anon

You Gays have become so boring, and quite frankly, last decade's news. Move along now.

Ezra
Ezra

Oh my God what a dam twit! The woman didn't take her full dose of medication for the day. Just what we gays need now is the dam delusional hatemongering religious right to fill thier twisted minds with misgivings of this kind. Why the Sam Hell doe,s the religious nut-cakes spend so much time thinking about what we gays are doing? I think that,s really queer. After 60 years on this  earth and in this country, well I would think this shit should be getting old. This brings back memories of what we had to go through dealing with that religious nut Anita. Down in Florida! Being a political year this is just what adds fuel to the fire of the religious rights demented minds. Cynthia bite my ass!

CongenitalGuest
CongenitalGuest

Sorry, gotta disagree with Musto. I'd rather have homosexuality described as a choice rather than a horrible, congenital affliction that no sane person would ever, ever, ever choose if they had the choice.

Revulu
Revulu

 Oh phew, who cares mary!  She's totally right, it makes no difference how you got to gaylandia, it only matters that you're here youre queer get over it!  No, seriously, for the love of all thats holy, get the h-double-o-hockey-sticks over it already.  There's is no wrong way to be gay, except a tranny.   ( I kid, i kid because i love! )

Brad's Boyfriend
Brad's Boyfriend

Well, Cynthia dear, much as I have enjoyed your acting career, you sorely disappointed me with your NYTimes tirade.  I mean, once you opened your mouth, you just couldn't stop, could you?  

It was never a choice for me.  My mother and my family would have been happier had it been a choice; then that would have justified their beating it into methat I was wrong, they were right, and God Would Not Be Mocked.

Thanks for giving them more ammunition.  Can't wait for Thanksgiving!

Jessie
Jessie

Don't understand why everyone cares about her sexuality. This is her life, her choice. Everyone has a different story. Relax people.

Victor Yepello
Victor Yepello

She has just won my jerk of the year award.  I agree with John, it is much more likely that she is bisexual than anything else.  She has done more damage in this one interview than any other nay-sayer could ever do.  I hope she hears loud and clear that what she did was wrong.  #FAIL Cynthia Nixon

Victor Yepello
Victor Yepello

She has just won my jerk of the year award.  I agree with John, it is much more likely that she is bisexual than anything else.  She has done more damage in this one interview than any other nay-sayer could ever do.  I hope she hears loud and clear that what she did was wrong.  #FAIL Cynthia Nixon

Guest
Guest

Aravosis is right about one thing; Nixon's comments are already spreading through the right wing blogosphere as proof that homosexuals only choose their orientation and therefore dont deserve marriage equality and all that it entails. I see her point with not allowing the bigots to frame the argument but she still should have kept her mouth shut as it will now be used as a political hammer to bludgeon the gay rights movement.

Mr. big
Mr. big

How dare her.  That's worse than admitting that you like to suck dick.

Epac
Epac

I always thought she was way prettier than SJP...

kcarb1025
kcarb1025

I agree.. she's bisexual and she chose a woman. That's different from gay, and she should've phrased it that way.

Memichelle77
Memichelle77

As a strong supporter of gay rights, I do understand where the blogger is coming from with regard to Nixon's comments setting back the movement.  However, what I think men do not understand is that on the whole, women are not as sexually driven as men.  Therefore, I do think there is more middle ground with women.  I believe that even if a woman has lesbian tendencies, she could remain married to a man and have a successful relationship (that would not end in a sex scandal).  I also believe that sometimes older women who have had marriages with and raised families with men, after a divorce or break-up, come to a point where they decide they enjoy the companionship of a woman more than a man.  I have always felt that women's sexuality is on more of a spectrum than men.  So, I suppose if you want to classify that as bisexual, then so be it.

Kevin Jones
Kevin Jones

The fact is that sexuality is more fluid for many women than it is for most men.  I say "many" and "most" because nothing in the human psyche is "one size fits all."  If we as a community are willing to lambast others in our community over semantics or simply over how we choose to express our sexuality verbally, then we have learned nothing from those that seek to silence us through their ignorance, fear and intolerance.  Her truth is her truth, and those that will use Ms. Nixon's words against us are simply verifying for us how closed their minds are, how they continually ignore context and how they were never going to change their minds about us.  

anon
anon

Seriously, this woman deserves to burn. Not in hell, but on a pole. In the middle of town. Like a witch.

She is seriously retarded. She could have just said "I'm bisexual but I choose to date only woman," not "I chose my sexuality," because these two statements are NOT the same...

Marquesa
Marquesa

she should have said "I chose to come out of the closet. That's the only choice involved here."

MSpeer
MSpeer

As someone for whom my sexuality was never a choice I have no concept of what that means. And even though she did preface her statement above with "For me..." it does make it sound like one chooses their preference like choosing what T-shirt to wear.

Natali
Natali

I completely agree that this is awful but could it be that all her life, people have told her to choose? Being bi is not easy because even people in the gay community have been known to say, "There's no such thing as bi! You have to choose." And now that she's saying she did just that, she's being attacked for it. She can't win either way.

Blades
Blades

She probably should have said "I chose my partner" not "I chose my sexuality."

Savannah Montgomery
Savannah Montgomery

Poorly chosen words indeedy...

I'm guessing she was originally thinking along the lines of that often batted around trope  "fluid female sexuality" thing and now condenses it to "chose" and won't back down from it.

Divoon
Divoon

I think she's smart and is being sincere but he's right, her wording could feed right into the haters' agendas.

Sanders
Sanders

Ouch. You tell it, Aravosis!

Musto
Musto

Mixon now says:"While I don't often use the word, the technically precise term for my orientation is bisexual. I believe bisexuality is not a choice, it is a fact. What I have 'chosen' is to be in a gay relationship."

Crystal
Crystal

Meant to say that it can't be forced.

Chuchem
Chuchem

You can choose your sex partners, but you can't choose your sexuality. There's a difference.

Movielover
Movielover

Fair weather friend!  You only like gay when you want an expert blowjob!

Movielover
Movielover

Shirley there are other descriptions.  I like to compare it to being left handed.  Most aren't, but some are and there have always been the minority who are, Blanche.  Who ahh.

Movielover
Movielover

Are you admitting THAT?  Have you admitted it before? Is that just a screen name or do those who like to like you?  Are some so much better than others at it?

Drew
Drew

SJP looks like a DRAG QUEEN!!! With that, oh, so angular face.

Ouch !!!! lol

Jeremy
Jeremy

amazing post.  Well said and very well phrased.  Unfortunately, there are "too few" who are able to see the beauty of these words and put them into action.  If only....

Movielover
Movielover

Cindy is a good gal.  She doesn't deserve to burn.  You should get a little moderation.

anon
anon

I'm bi and I like penis and vagina. And get this, I like them EQUALLY.

Musto
Musto

I meant "Nixon," obviously.

Lchrystal
Lchrystal

Why can't you choose your sexuality? There's nothing in the book of life that says that you can't.  And whatever happened to thinking and then deciding? And evolution still plays a big part towards sexuality.  We are not done evolving.

Movielover
Movielover

She really would make a better looking boy than chick.

Movielover
Movielover

I guess it could be like being "versatile" but I believe it is rare.  Most people respond overwhelmingly to one or the other.  Some people are indifferent to either, but that's also quite...rare.  It's a choice hardly anyone ever has to make.  Most do what comes naturally, though young gays are pressured to try to be straight.  Non butch gals can "just lie there" and have sex with a man and seem straight, but it takes a bit of imagination for a gay guy to get aroused for a snooch.  Actually, I think it is more fantasizing about cock and getting stick-it-in-squish-squish before the hard one takes a hike.

kcarb1025
kcarb1025

Nobody said you didn't. Calm down and stick to the topic at hand.

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