Johnny And Vanessa! Heidi And Seal! What Next?

Categories: Celebs

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When Katy Perry and Russell Brand announced their split not long ago, no one batted a fake lash.

It was a matter of "How did it even manage to last that long?"

But when relationship champs like Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis, and Heidi Klum and Seal, are reportedly splitsville, who's left that we can really count on?

Those were the people we continually turned to for proof that diverse and unconventional pairings could work in the long run.

And they did! They were absolute perfection, matches made way up above, probably in a really expensive penthouse in the sky.

'Nessy melded with Johnny as beautifully as his tousled hair and wacko demeanor. Heidi, Seal, and their baby Seals were as fragrant together as a kiss from a rose.

But not anymore!

Their seemingly perfect unions hit a snag, and now they're as intangible as last season's Lagerfeld for H&M.

Thank God for Brad and Angelina and Woody and Soon-Yi.

Those were the two relationships that were supposed to destroy civilization with their crass, vulgar wantonness -- but funny, they're still here.

They still work.

They will rock on forever.

After the apocalypse, there will be cockroaches, Brangelina, and Woon-Yi.

Get used to it.


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11 comments
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Carol Cardella
Carol Cardella

Be glad they broke up Musto, if EVERYONE stayed together, what would u have to write about?!

BTC

Southern Dave
Southern Dave

Tom Cruise and whomever Scientology fixes him up with every 10 years.

Musto
Musto

Sorry, it ain't gonna happen.

GODblessU
GODblessU

Will we ever see proof of a 'little Musto' baby running around in our newsfeed on FB?--Hope so, there are many of men that try the other side of the fence as a first timer or repeat and don't come back....Come onnn Musto! We, your fans want to see a child come out of your DNA...No wishful thinking here, we'd love to see a daddy in your persona-there's potential there.....Headlines across New York "Musto and Child" perfect combination =))

Lily
Lily

Glad you didn't mention the Kardashians. But Demi and Ashton was an unconventional pairing that worked for quite a while, then went kaput. Sad.

guest
guest

(.. I was saddened reading that Jessica Lange and Sam Shepard- not that I know either of them!- decided to lead separate lives. it's easy to 'use' couples who have forged independent ways to redefine convention.. as role models, to emulate. but I can think of several 'Hollywood couples' whose marriages 'appear' (at least!) solid: Tom Hanks's marriage. Meryl Streep's. Helen Mirren's. Colin Firth's. Clive Owen's.. there's hope ! 

Almay
Almay

Ooh!! Johnny's available for me now!!

Reaper
Reaper

I remember you writing how you needed Brad and Jennifer to be together. Well, I needed Johnny and Vanessa. This is devastating.

Xoxo
Xoxo

"Woon-Yi" LOL. Just spit out my juice.

Savannah Montgomery
Savannah Montgomery

...and "baby Seals"!!!  Punster me, didn't see that one coming..kudos Michael.

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