Melissa Rivers Objects To Mama Joan's Surgery

Categories: Joan Rivers

joan-and-melissa-we.jpg

As you know, the current column is a feisty Q&A between myself and WE stars Joan and Melissa Rivers, which I should have subtitled "Two Jews and a Pizza Place."

And I really know my stuff!

I knew, for example, that in one episode of Joan and Melissa: Joan Knows Best?, daughter dearest is seen yelping at ma for undergoing unnecessary risks by getting yet more "vanity surgery."

I asked her why she's suddenly upset about this.

"I've always been upset," replied Melissa.

"But this time, instead of being shushed, I talked about it. It's a free country. My mom thinks it's a benevolent dictatorship run by her."

Rather than heap yet more drama at the great dictator, I simply asked Joan if she'd ever date her surgeon.

"No," she answered without pause.

"I know him forever.

"And he's no fun because he won't tell who else he did," she cracked.

"I keep dropping names, hoping.

"'Come on, Katy Perry ring a bell? John Travolta?'"

I guess the man's the height of discretion -- except for doing Joan's surgery on national TV!


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9 comments
latenitebump
latenitebump

phyllis diller was better! and melissa? the point?

chelsee handler
chelsee handler

joan is one ugly bitch....and her daughter takes after her, as an ugly bitch without any talent.

Shane Lear
Shane Lear

I'm impressed that Joan let the cameras catch her without makeup.  If nips and tucks make her happy, then why not?  It's ALL cosmetic anyway.  It's no different than putting braces on your kids teeth.  It may not be politically correct to say so, but I think she looks better than any other 80 year old woman I've ever seen.

Samsonite
Samsonite

Melissa's mad about the risks involved in surgery (as mentioned above), not the surgery itself.

Movielover
Movielover

If Joan wants to, let her.  She may look a little messy before tune ups, but she would probably look worse if she never had any.  Too bad for Joan (and the rest of us!) that the outside shell is so important that we must have angst over it like we (all) do.

Svengali
Svengali

Love her line about "a benevolent dictatorship run by HER!"

Ibis
Ibis

So Melissa has become sort of the mother figure? Interesting. Happens to all of us at some point.

Whimsy
Whimsy

OOH! SO WITTY! YOU'RE SO CLEVER! OOOH!!!! GREAT OBSERVATIONS AND SO HILARIOUS!!!

Joany Phoney Rivers
Joany Phoney Rivers

Melissa is one fugly mother fucker...! 

Can we talk, please, about my fugly daughter?

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