Fashion Week Approacheth! Here Are The Rules!

Categories: Fashion

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Yes, there are rules.

Disobey them and you become fashion-unfabulous in the drop of a hemline.


*Run around Lincoln Center every day, telling strangers, "Gosh, I hate Fashion Week! I wouldn't be here if I didn't absolutely have to be!" This gives out the impression that you have some incredible high-paying, powerful job in the fashion industry when in reality, you're a wannabe and total crasher.


*Mill around the waiting area before each show. This is your chance to pick up free samples, force yourself into photo opportunities, and network your way into some kind of flashy if superficial future.


*Wear Chinatown-bought knockoffs of all the top designers and flaunt them with pride. No one will know the difference! These people are dumb!


*Run up to Anna Wintour and gush, "I'm such a big fan. Loved you in The Devil Wears Prada." She might hate you, but she'll never forget you. Next time she sees you, she might think, "I know that person!"


*Pick one model from the pack and scream and cheer every time she comes down the runway while blowing kisses and winking and pointing at her. People will assume you're very close.


*Only drop the very best names. Gush to people about how amazing the Marc Jacobs show was. If they say, "But it hasn't happened yet," coolly reply, "Oh, he gave me a private showing."


*After each show, wait till the room starts clearing, then scoop up as many gift bags left on the seats as you can. Last year, I got three Talking Ken dolls!


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8 comments
Ynnocence
Ynnocence

My personal variation on getting knockoffs: buy 2nd-hand. I once made the mistake of announcing my great find at work and this major closeted social-climber made fun of me. So I went back and bought more and said, I just bought these at Bloomingdale's. What do you know, he went for it and declared me best-dressed in our department. I'd normally be PC about calling these types dumb but it tends to be so very true.

Whimsy
Whimsy

Thelma Ritter should be front row at every fashion show, dead or not.

Brad's Boyfriend
Brad's Boyfriend

Aw, a photo from "A New Kind of Love" (1963).  That's Joanne Woodward, second from right with sunglasses on, next to Thelma Ritter, getting ready to check out the latest Parisian fashions.

Ladybug
Ladybug

Also, don't complain about standing room! You can always wangle your way into a seat.

Fashionbitch
Fashionbitch

These rules are genius, darling. I will obey them as soon as I picked up the new Christian Laboutin pair of fuck me pumps.

Movielover
Movielover

Lord have mercy, where do you work?!

Ynnocence
Ynnocence

Some small finance-related company that floundered during the recession. I'm no longer there - got out in the nick of time, with my benefits still intact. I was also doing grad studies - which was my excuse (to myself) for operating on a tight budget.

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