In Defense of Nightclub Doorpeople

Categories: Nightlife

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They're not all the devil -- they're just doing their job!

And you can actually help your own chances of getting in by humoring them a little.

These thoughts just came in from Calen David -- a/k/a the above-pictured drag star and hostess Epiphany Get Paid -- about which faces in the crowd generally get picked to get in, and what you can do to become one of them:


"This judgement is usually completely controlled not by the 'door god' but by YOU. The way you interact with this person can make or break your chances of getting in. The reason a person does it and not a machine is because they want the door to be flexible and the policies to bend for certain people.

"The system of a tough door isn't ageist, sexist, racist, or hetero- or homophobic. It is almost entirely based on your personality and how your flash interaction with the door god goes.

"Now some of us have gotten to know this person, and some of us dress up so well that it's embarrassing for the club to have you waiting in line. Also if you are very dressed, i.e. club kid, drag suit and tie, muscle guy, girl in hot heels and an expensive fur, AND you have a sparkling personality, you can go directly to the front and plead your case to them. There is no harm in trying, and most often this show of confidence will part the velvet rope for you. Your 10 friends are a different story.

"The door god is also mischievous and malevolent at times. They will often play little games with you or others in exchange for your safe passage. In the past I have thought this was mean, but now I think it's just to entertain themselves. The outcome of this game is up to you: say something nice, make them laugh, or compliment them genuinely and you'll get in. Remember they are just bored, so do something entertaining.

"And lastly, but most important: Think of the things you like about clubs or why you go. Great music, fun people, interaction with strangers, the possibility of going home with someone, drinks, dancing. The door god gets none of this. They stand in the cold for 5 hours doing nothing but keeping guard. This makes it slightly monotonous and boring.

"Interaction with fun people equally dressed to party sheds a glimmer of light and distraction in the job of the door god. They WANT to let you in. But your bland personality, your ill fitting lack of a thoughtful look, mashed potato body, and your slightly dehydrated skin keeps you from being noticed, so you are relegated to the purgatory of the line.

"At this point you should just go somewhere else and try again next week. And if this makes you bitter and resentful, remember you are in NYC and there are hundreds of thousands of other places that would probably pour you a stronger drink, with a gentle atmosphere to quell your spurned soul. And give a little more thought to what you didn't do to win the favor of the door god."


Got it? Start now, people, and stop your whining.



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13 comments
Sands
Sands

Don't most clubs just line you up and let you in these days? Hard to believe they'd turn ANYONE away in this money grubbing economy.

Hottjammz
Hottjammz

Interesting that she is giving any sort of etiquette advice; Epiphany has a horrid reputation in nightlife for being a vicious, back stabbing, arrogant cunt. Why am I not surprised that she thinks 'an expensive fur' is a good idea? Vile creature.

anonTWO
anonTWO

Don't have the patience to endure this type of stupidity, not anymore.Years ago a friend of mine had a photo exhibition at a niteclub, I walked up to to let them know my name was on his guestlist. The doorknobs purposely ignored me for a minute or two and finally I walked off.The doorknobs looked surprised that I did not choose to wait around to be insulted further.Honey, you are not that fucking fabulous and neither is that club and certainly the clientele is "ick"!I'd never been to that club before (or since), I was ONLY there to support my friend!

Karim Ardalan
Karim Ardalan

Over 30, you have a hard time getting in. A group of guys without girls has a hard time getting in. There are definite phobias at work here since the doorman is going for what the promoters want, but charm (and cash) do go a long way--and dressing up, of course.

Melinda9
Melinda9

It makes perfect sense to me.

The Velvet Rope Holder
The Velvet Rope Holder

Money Works!  Greet them with a smile... Shake their hand and make sure there is a $20 in it! You will never wait in the cold again, regardless of how you are dressed.  

Klubbie
Klubbie

The door process isn't ageist, homophobic, sexist??? Huh???? What city are we talking about again?

Ulu
Ulu

So a poor doorperson has to stand there all night while we go in and have fun?? Yeah, but they're getting paid and we're paying! Got it?

Calendavidnyc
Calendavidnyc

wow, too bad you can't say that to her face "hottjammz"

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