Let's Write The Worst Personal Ad In History Together
Hello. I'm 967 pounds, but it looks good on my frame.
I'm 3' 5". I'm actually 5' 9", but I lean over a lot for attention.
My doctor said I need to curb my eating. I changed doctors.
I collect dead rats as a hobby.
Sick, you say? Well, it got me on TV.
I have no money, and that's where you come in.
Let's have lots of long, romantic dinners. It will reduce the amount of times I have to mooch off friends or live off lawsuits.
I'm an Aries. I have a mullet and wear palazzo pants. You should too.
And you must have a shockingly high IQ and a body that makes my mouth drop open enough so spaghetti falls out.
My favorite star of Mob Wives is ... all of them.
All right, keep this going, people ...