Let's Write The Worst Personal Ad In History Together

Categories: Advice

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I'll start.

Hello. I'm 967 pounds, but it looks good on my frame.

I'm 3' 5". I'm actually 5' 9", but I lean over a lot for attention.

My doctor said I need to curb my eating. I changed doctors.

I collect dead rats as a hobby.

Sick, you say? Well, it got me on TV.

I have no money, and that's where you come in.

Let's have lots of long, romantic dinners. It will reduce the amount of times I have to mooch off friends or live off lawsuits.

I'm an Aries. I have a mullet and wear palazzo pants. You should too.

And you must have a shockingly high IQ and a body that makes my mouth drop open enough so spaghetti falls out.

My favorite star of Mob Wives is ... all of them.


All right, keep this going, people ...


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13 comments
Chastity N Smith
Chastity N Smith

omg to day i got geeks on my plate 4 of them and they r not cool they pick there nose and eat  there brgers ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chastity N Smith
Chastity N Smith

help my tv shut down and i can not find the roomote !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chastity N Smith
Chastity N Smith

so today me and my bff sawl 4 geeks we need to stick them up on this wall how do we do that.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

latenitebump
latenitebump

born-again cross-dresser seeking devout atheist for non-sexual contact. nothing beyond; only light hand holding. (preferably, no longer than 5 minutes). must be free on sundays; early morning hours. my picture available only upon request.

Brad's Boyfriend
Brad's Boyfriend

Love walks on the beaches.

Must send pic in response to get mine.

MattB
MattB

Dull, ordinary fellow wishes to meet fellow travelers.

I was once big on local TV. I was on "Morgus."

Southern Dave
Southern Dave

For all you Starfuckers Out There:

I was once  a TV celeb, but all the shows I was on were ahead of their time ...

"My Mother, the Car," "Grindl" (starring Imogene Coca!), "The Tammy Grimes Show" and "Cop Rock."

I am now trying to update an old favorite for LOGO:

"Sing Along with Bitch."

Tym
Tym

I do not like skinny people.  Only people 400lbs +.

I'm a Top.  I like to be serviced and I do not reciprocal

 

Delroy
Delroy

No fats no femmes. Except me.

Muscato
Muscato

...seeking fat femme on drugs.

Irma
Irma

You can't find my genitals because of my belly overhang but they're worth looking for.

Pcikens
Pcikens

My favorite TV show is Mr. Ed.

Southern Dave
Southern Dave

I remember you! You played Morgus the Magnificent's agent, Wiley Fay.

Since those shows are in syndication in several markets now, am sure you're rolling in ill-gotten gain!

Congrats!

Here's Wiley Fay's personals ad:

Nebbishy, but well-connected  loser seeks lonely, millionaire client looking for exposure in several senses of the word.

Send explicit pic and Cayman Islands bank account statement for prompt reply..

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