Zelda Kaplan Died The Way I Want To Go!

Categories: Fashion


At a fashion show!

In the front row!

But I actually never wanted her to go, because her jazzy prints and big glasses had become zanily popular.

And because now I'm the oldest one on the scene, ba dum pum.

As you know, the world's oldest club kid collapsed during Fashion Week, right after the Joanna Mastroianni show started, and it wasn't because she thought the fashion was "to die for."

It was simply that at 95, she'd traversed her last velvet rope, seen her last show, and enjoyed her last gift bag.

Talk about partying till you drop.

Zelda truly filled it to the brim and never called it quits until the big doorman in the sky reached down and swooped her up into the eternal VIP room.

Her chutzpah and stamina were as awe-inducing as her African print shmattes.

To me, she always resembled a life-size version of Madame the puppet.

I wanted to put my hand up her!

Truth be told, I only said hello to her once because I didn't know what to make of the woman, but it's actually good to have people around that make you a little bit uncomfortable.

It means they have the nerve to dangle on the edge and wave in your face.

So goodbye, Zelda.

And sorry, Joanna, but I won't be attending your next show!!!!


In other sad news, another longtime nightlife presence, Steve Greenberg, has died of lymphoma.

I always called him "Ben Franklin" because of his white-haired, robust look. But whatever you called him, Steve was one of the few presences in nightlife who actually meant what they said. He promised me a big party in 2010 at his palm-tree-lined rooftop club 230 Fifth, and he delivered, with every detail carried out in style. And he welcomed the bohemian talent I brought to the stage that night, always craving some avant-garde performance to mix up the space that was most often filled with Wall Street types.

I bet Steve is dancing with Zelda in the rooftop lounge in the sky.


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Beautiful obit - hope I get to live longer than you, but if not, and if I've got the moolah, I'll be commissioning none other than you to write mine! Re Zelda, I had exactly the same thought - that that's one of the best ways to go - but I quickly hushed myself, embarrassed that it would even occur to me. You sure have a way of validating the sinfully deepest desires!


Oh Michael, dear thank you for remminding me. A close friend who was art professor at Miami Dade College, and I were at a very upper crust socal event in 1976. Well just days before a wonderful friend Chacaco gave me 8 yards of an absolutely beautiful print. It was of a Swahili print. Well I adorned myself from head to toe with the yardage. And attended the event that evening. And to my privilege I came into the presence of Lelda. She gave me a most wonderful complement on my attire, and asked me what was the occasion for my warden of such a absolutely marvelous cut of fabric. She knew what and were it had come from. She said that it was only to be wore by the highest of Swahili. I managed to keep my tranquil composer through out the evening. But when I got back to the hotel I sat and cried at what, both high honnors had been bestowed upon me/ I still have that fabric! And in honnor of my friend Chacaco and Lelda I shall put on that 8 yards of beautiful material. And in the most of affectionate walk down memory lane of two fond persons that I've been blessed to know. And the great impressions that they have made on my life. Thank you! If you are not living on the edge of life,  you are taking up to much dam room!  We all should be so lucky to live such a wonderful life.

Joe Pyne
Joe Pyne

She should have croaked on Anderson Cooper's Show.  That fairy needs the fucking ratings, for fuck's, fucking, fuck's sake


Brilliant! Thank you!!


From my stylist friend Christian Freedom:

"The show she was at was an homage to the style of Iris Apfel, who a lot of people got Zelda confused with. Also, Zelda had a real passion for Africa and did a lot of charity work to help African women and stop genital mutilation and other human rights issues."

Scotty Bowers
Scotty Bowers

....oh, I remember Joe wanted me to set him up for a jolly ole gangbang of tricks including Sir Peregrine Gerard Worsthorne, Aldous Huxley, Edith Bouvier Beale, Xavier Cugart, and Cookie Lavagetto....

Scotty Bowers
Scotty Bowers

I wonder how many reader's know to whom you are referring, with reference to the name ( and I don't mean A.C.)....and how he, given his era would probably have used the word "fairy"....