21 Jump Street Is Obsessed With Penises

Categories: Film

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SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT!

At one crucial point in the new action comedy -- based on the old TV show -- a guy gets shot in the crotch, his noodle falls off, and he picks it up in his mouth!

It's straight out of John Waters.

And there's plenty of genital stuff before that, too.


Channing Tatum malapropically tells a criminal, "I'll beat your dick off with both hands!" He tells another one, "You've got the right to ... suck my dick, motherfucker."


Jonah Hill tells his boss about their new undercover gig, "If I have to suck somebody's dick, I will. It's just I prefer not to."


When the two stars are in a car and Hill is trying to hide, Tatum tells him to pretend to go down on him. "Why me?" asks Hill. "Because you're the one in a Peter Pan costume," replies Tatum. (A long story -- but the drama teacher does make a remark about Hill having "a little Peter" in him.)


When the two are in the bathroom, putting their fingers in each other's mouths (another long story), Tatum urges, "Just stick it in! What are you -- looking for my G spot?" The janitor overhears all that and looks horrified.


And even Johnny Depp's cameo involves him mentioning his penis.


But I'll tell you what'll really titillate your crotch:

Dave Franco -- James's brother (below) -- plays the drug dealer and is hotter than Sizzlean.


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9 comments
Allen Firth
Allen Firth

Well, the movie poster is certainly subliminal!  Look at how and where their guns are cocked.

Movielover
Movielover

Sounds like fun!  Young men making dick comments that are sexy rather than homophobic!  I just might go see this movie - also because I saw a review that said it wasn't bad, something that it looks like it would be tremendously (bad). 

Rc61austin
Rc61austin

Michael, I'm not sure many people can remember "Sizzlean".  : )

Musto
Musto

And no, I'm not the screenwriter.

Wings
Wings

So is Jonah Hill basically saying "I'm a dick"?

Mantooth
Mantooth

Me like James Franco's brother. Me want more.

rolph
rolph

Did you say "cocked"?

Musto
Musto

Yeah, because eating it probably caused memory loss. But it's my mission to bring it back.

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