Exclusive Fake Interview With George Clooney's Girlfriend
How's this for a coup?
An imaginary interview with Stacy Keibler, who adorns George Clooney's arm for many a photo.
Stacy had some amazing fake things to say!
So, Stacy, what the world wants to know and only you can answer is ... what's George really like?
Well ... he's very, very nice. And really smart. And ... what's the word? ... handsome.
Wow. Such insight! How did you meet him anyway?
Um, on the Eiffel Tower. No, wait, that's where Tom met Katie. I meant that's where Tom proposed to Katie. I'm getting confused.
So, has he proposed?
Tom? No, he's married!
I mean George.
Oh. No, I don't think that's happening soon. I'd have to check.
What kinds of things do you do together?
Eating ... red carpets ...
What did you think of his Advocate interview?
I don't read The Advocate. He does. [Pause.] He likes to keep up with all kinds of stuff.
What's your favorite movie of his?
I don't know. I just do red carpets. But they're gonna send me the DVDs. [Pause.] I liked him on Roseanne.
What did you think when he kissed Billy Crystal on the Oscars?
He can do better!
Any other insight into George's personality that you can share?
He reads books. He likes vegetables, if they're cooked well. Um ...
Is he g ...?
And what happens when he's naked?
He gets so cold!
Can you tell us what his favorite position is?
[Pause.] Extreme liberal.
Thanks, Stacy. Bye.
No, not bi. Straight!
OK. Bye. I mean so long. Oy.