Help Me Create The Fashion Victim Museum!

Categories: Fashion

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Who could be more qualified to curate this thing than me?

And I'm quite certain you can help!

Here are the exhibits and displays I've already got in mind:


*Asymmetrical outfits, calculatedly damaged jeans, body paint, sideways visors, and sunglasses

All represented in the above photo -- a miracle of victimization!


*Shoulder pads

Any kind of shoulder pads. They scream "victim!" and usually look like unhealthy growths that need to be looked at by a medical professional.


*Expensive designer handbags

Don't people know the cheap knockoffs look exactly the same? Dummos!


*The collar up

This invariably makes me spew. It's so silly looking, like the wearer just came out of a pretentious, dated gay wind tunnel.


*Polka dots

They've always looked horrible on anyone except Jeff Chandler. Even horizontal stripes are more flattering.


*Nose rings

They make me want to pull really hard.


*A tattoo of your own name

What, you couldn't remember it?


And finally ...

*Cosby-style sweaters

I have a million of them!

In fact, the museum is located right in my walk-in closet.


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