Let's Rewrite The Hunger Games
Let's see ... Hunger Games ... hmm ...
The Olsen twins are playing backgammon with little pieces of crackers.
The loser has to eat one of them.
In walks Angelina.
She's there to gather some of the crackers for starving children around the world.
The Olsens suggest Angelina take one for herself.
After all, her jutting leg is looking even bonier than usual.
It actually looks like a chicken leg, prompting Mary-Kate to beg Ashley to take a bite of it.
Ashley looks sick and refuses. And Angelina will only take the crackers for the children, not herself.
All three look at each other, with big, longing eyes filled with self-sacrifice.
Ashley loses the game, and now faces the dilemma of having to eat whatever crackers are left.
She pleads with Angelina to take them all away.
Just then, Zoë Saldana walks in holding the Carpenters boxed set.
That's all I've got so far.
Help me out here, freaks.
Feed me some lines!