The Wackiest Things Celebs Have Ever Said To Me

Categories: Celebs

In their dealings with a potentially scary press person like myself, celebs are sometimes solicitous, occasionally pandering, at times delightfully ass kissy, but always tons of fun.

Here are just a few of the highlights through the years:

Gwyneth Paltrow: "I admire your rage."

Helen Mirren: [whom I'd called "transcendant" in a play]: "That 'transcendant' got me through an entire week."

Marian Seldes: "I'd love to get inside that brain of yours."

Fiona Apple: "What did you mean when you wrote I have the face of a Russian gymnast?" (But I didn't!)

Marlo Thomas: "I know you don't like me, but I like you." (But I do!)

Donald Trump: "Michael, you do a very good job."

Rose McGowan: "Are you the one who wrote 'Every day is Halloween for Rose McGowan'?" (Yes, but it was meant admiringly, I swear.)

Robert Klein: "You write about inconsequential people, but brilliantly."

Ruby Dee [to a friend]: "Well, at least he's good on E!"

Alec Baldwin: "You're witty and self-deprecating [on a certain show] and everyone else is a garden weasel."

David Copperfield's publicist: "David loved your comment that he fucked Claudia Schiffer in half every night. He framed it!"

Benjamin Bratt: (smiling) "Are you gonna start any trouble?"

Anouk Aimee: "I'm so glad to meet you. I've seen you on TV. I saw you on E! about Liza."

Liza Minnelli: "I know you!"

Lydia Lunch: "Everybody knows Michael Musto! I read you online. Stop talking trash!"

David O. Russell: "Michael! I used to wait on you all the time at the Puck building."

Ellen Barkin, as I brazenly read a tabloid at a party: "Michael, shocking! Reading The Globe! Shocking!"

William Finn (Spelling Bee): "I love the column, though you hated our show!" (But I didn't! Not totally!)

Tim Robbins: "Thank you for supporting Act Up."

Michael Stipe: "You look thin, Michael. You look really good."

Harry Connick, Jr: "I get all my information from you."

Adam Shankman (Hairspray movie director): "You've written so many mean things about me."

Shannen Doherty: "I saw you on Gastineau Girls. I loved your reactions."

Dina Lohan: "I'm a big fan of your work. Be nice to us."

Patti LaBelle [at event]: "Michael Musto is here. He's all over the TV and if you look at him the wrong way, he trashes you, so I make sure that never happens." [laughs]

Tyler Perry: "I know your face. We've never met before."

Dick Cavett: "Are you using your poison pen?"

Jerry Stiller: "I've seen you on TV. How do you pack so many words into a short time?"

Nellie McKay: "You're a columnist. You're a guilty pleasure."

Laura Benanti: "I saw you in the audience at Gypsy and got nervous."

Sinead O'Connor, when I asked her what she was thinking about during that very intense "Nothing Compares To U" video:

"Well, I'm not thinking about it now!"

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ha !  Your Donald Trump quote is very funny.


I keep reading the Ellen Barkin quote and imagining her character from Drop Dead Gorgeous saying that either doing hair or while having a can of coke fused to her hand.  


love lydia lunch! diva! (she probably hates that word!)


GREAT, Please, sir. Can we have some more?


The best one is "You look thin." That always makes me melt.


These are genius. More! More!