I Discussed The Dark Side Of Beauty With Jane Velez-Mitchell Last Night

I should have such problems.

Actually, I started the segment by cracking, "I've been plagued with this same problem! It has tortured me. Everywhere I go, people are jealous. I walk into a room and they're running out because they can't deal with my beauty. And I don't know who to trust anymore."

Once over the laugh, we talked about Ms. Brick -- who actually doesn't look as stunning as she thinks she is -- and I conceded that Marilyn Monroe described similar resentments, women eyeing her suspiciously whenever she was in the vicinity of their man. I said, "Maybe they should just get a diferent man."

And as for putting this woman in a larger picture, I said, "This all started with that Kelly LeBrock 'Don't hate me because I'm beautiful' commercial in the '80s. The whole world hated her for saying that!"

Flash-forward to Angelina doing that leg thing, which seemed to say, "Look at me, world, I'm fabulous." "But her leg looked about 10 ounces," I said. "The Olsen twins took a bite of it and it was the real Hunger Games."

Yes, I went into that shtick!

Finally, Velez-Mitchell said, "Vulnerability is very sexy," and I replied, "If that were true, I wouldn't be so alone!"

A fun segment. A real beaut.

I even suggested that maybe Brick looks better in person than in her photos -- "like Anne Ramsey. She was a knockout."

Ah, the fun!