The 10 Most Unrealistic Sex Scenes In Movie History

Categories: Film

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Sunfiltered at SundanceChannel.com has compiled a list of the 10 movie sex scenes that got it extremely wrong (though some of them are a tiny bit hot despite themselves).

The linked photo starts with the number 10 choice (From Here to Eternity, in which two major stars carried on like beached whales).

Then click on the right arrow to view the rest of the top 10.

I'll give you a hint as to some of the heavily hormonal yet inappropriate finalists:


Britney Spears pretending to be a virgin.

Breaking Dawn's 100-plus-year-old vampire consummating with the Missus while awkwardly holding onto the headboard.

Charlie Sheen and gal pal insanely doing it while driving. (And yes, it was in a fictional movie, not a documentary.)

Diane Lane and Olivier Martinez having an erotic quickie in a restaurant restroom, above. (Been there.)

And, oh, what the hell, I'll tell you the number one choice so you can prematurely orgasm:

Tom Cruise and Kelly Preston doing it upright in Jerry Maguire.

Hmm. What do those two have in common?


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22 comments
Gregorama
Gregorama

While I generally agree with their choices (those that I've seen), I question putting the epileptosex-scene in "Showgirls" only at #6!  It's certainly more shockingly, blatantly, outrageously fake than, say, "The Thomas Crown Affair" (#2).  I give it #1 all the way.  I saw the film on opening day in L.A. at Grauman's Chinese Theatre.  The audience was about 60% savvy queens and 40% lecherous Hollywood Boulevard creepy types.  As that pool scene kept going on..and on...by the time she was actually fully flopping in the air, there was an actual standing ovation in the theatre!  (me too, much like Savannah's comment, above).  I've certainly never seen anything approaching that level of, er, "effectiveness".  That film is in a class of its own...I don't expect in my lifetime to see anything as appalling, on every single level.

Sidebar comment:  Whenever I watch the film (and I do...often), I can't get it out of my head that when the film opened in Detroit, Elizabeth Berkeley's hometown, she took her FATHER to the premiere!  What do you suppose he had to say at the end?

Jeff
Jeff

What about when Stacy cheats on Ratner with Damone?    

Jason
Jason

The correct question may be "Who did those two have in common?", not "What"

LIMEN !
LIMEN !

After a phone call it hit me. The next topic. Movies with the most non realistic sex scenes. Namely, The hot Colin Ferrell in Alexander The Great. The greatest gay warrior in history. And Colin Ferrell was not to be seen in that movie making love to his lover, Hephaistion, Jared Leto. Even not a kiss at Hephaistion's death! Sad that in this day and age we America were deprived of such a great scene as that would have been! True love has no limit to it's bonds.

LIMEN !
LIMEN !

The 10 most Unrealistic Sex Scenes In Movie History? Aren't they all unrealistic. The first thing you do when your born is breath or die!  Next you consume you mothers breast milk, or fluids, then your older you eat or die! Then you expel the three. After that it is in accordance with that is natural the urge is sex. One who puts repression upon thier natural sexfunctions. Will generally misdirect or pervert his or her natural sexuality. So hetrosexual, homosexual, or bisexual be true to your self. Or you may end up like the title. 'Urealistic Sex!" The only movies that I enjoy are the old musicals. But when it come to sex , well it's best when it's the real thing! Be safe. Use American made condoms! Buy USA.

Kabernet
Kabernet

The pool scene in Showgirls is on the list he linked.

CMG
CMG

You're not bringing up Showgirls?  Even when disregarding Elizabeth Berkeley having an epileptic seizure in the pool with Kyle MacLachlan, you still have the fact there is no way there could have been penetration.  

Savannah Montgomery
Savannah Montgomery

Actually, I gave the pool sex scene in SHOWGIRLS (when it was first run) a standing ovation...it was so bad, you thought it couldn't get worse...and then it did.  I shouted "Brava!"

The rest of the audience joined me as well.

Torideon
Torideon

Brokeback Mountain should be there... lol

Geraldine Winifred Visco
Geraldine Winifred Visco

Um, whoever made up that list has obviously had led a boring chaste life and in order to get the mojo pumping should run out to buy some porn and sex toys PRONTO!

Frederick Woodruff
Frederick Woodruff

All I know is that I need to rediscover Mr. Oliveier Martinez all over again. Great, fun piece Michael!  

Rhythm agnes
Rhythm agnes

The sex scenes in Sylvester Stallone's "Italian Stallion" were hilarious. That boy was pretending to bang big busty gals with a limp noodle that was rather unimpressive.

Lala
Lala

Any sex scene with Tom Cruise is automatically not hot. but disagree about From Here To Eternity. It might be awkward but it's sizzling, and I've been in that position myself.

Diesel
Diesel

They're scientologists!!!

Christophebataz
Christophebataz

Completely misunderstood the title.They got those scenes right. Lol

Swan
Swan

"I wish I could accompany you to the Razzies as well, but this is the last you'll ever see me. Die, bitch."

Savannah Montgomery
Savannah Montgomery

Thank you Gregorama....I too, re-watch this movie at it still "tickles" me...the last time I went to Vegas (bowling tournament) I HAD to buy a ticket to "Jubilee" the only "classic" showgirl show on the strip (worth it!)...after you see it, you'll understand every "fly-over state" drag 'extravaganza'...I will be going back this year for the tournament and intend to go to the backstage tour of the show (I gotta try on a headdress!...think "Lucy").

Savannah Montgomery
Savannah Montgomery

 ...and how is that "unrealistic"? 

Via-ag-grow-in-my-va-jay-jay wasn't invented then.

Mrwhompers
Mrwhompers

Is that the one where he's the pizza boy?

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