Earth Day Is Sunday! Here's What To Do!

Categories: Advice

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*Ride your bike. It works for me! I could give a shit about the environment, but if it's helping, I have no problem with that. In fact, I'm willing to accept all prizes.

*Recycle something. Even an old boyfriend. Everything--and everyone--is reusable once you've gotten over the initial thrill.

*Plant a tree. (But not near my building, please. I don't want to encourage any more squirrels running around and crapping all over the place, thereby lowering the real estate values.)

*Turn off all the lights in your apartment and use a candle. That's how they did it in the old days (though they didn't even have lights to turn off). Sound stupid? Yeah, but think of your next Con Ed bill.

*Eat dirt. It's no worse than McDonald's, and much better for the environment.

*Lay down on a Central Park road and kiss it, yelling, "I love you, earth!" Then roll out of the way fast when a car starts coming.


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6 comments
Wings
Wings

I still feel guilty about making that Native American in the commercials cry, but I'm not really sure what I did to offend.

LIMEM !
LIMEM !

Before Christopher Columbus's ass got lost, and itwas lost.The lying, stealing, moron was lost. He didn't find India, it was on the other side of the world! The Native American's had a 80,000 year old oral history. More than 1,500 Nations, each with it's own language, and clans to prevent inbreeding. It was punishable by death to harm a child. The water was clean.The air was clean. There were 60,000,000 bison. NOW after the white man! The water is poisonous. The air is poisonous. And moreover sex will make you sick or kill you! May I continue to spell it out. The white man stole every thing that he could.All the land was stolen. Then like the Jew, The Native Americans were rounded up and put in concentration camps! Oh that's right we call them reservations. We elders have a song  that we sing hard at night. WHO FOUND WHO IN 1492? Our cities are filthy. The white mans way is aways long and hard. And in the end one will pay dearly in one way or another! Oh one more thing. We homosexuals were revered, we were regarded with deep respect, love ,and even awe! The male homosexuals were called he-shes, and the females were called she-hes.We were looked at as exceptional, extraordinary, we were special in the eyes of the Native Americans. Now look at what is said andthought of us? WHO FOUND WHO IN 1492? He was on the the beach babbling about yellow stones. And the priests gave us beautiful beads and crosses, and let us not foreget the warm blankets INFECTED WITH SMALL POX so that they need not waste time and energy killig us to steal more of what was ours! I do not blame you. But look were we are as so called human kind?

Melinda9
Melinda9

I'm going to pick up trash when I take my dog for a walk. I was thinking they need to bring back those crying Native American commercials, but I realized that people nowadays would probably laugh and throw more trash on him.

Wings
Wings

For earth Day I might just go to Uranus.

rolph
rolph

Recycling my last boyfriend as we speak!

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