In Praise Of Making Out With Your Dog
This doesn't come from me, mind you.
I don't even have a chia pet.
But actor Joe Pantoliano says in his new book that when he got depressed, he started accumulating dogs and found that smooching with the pooches was a delightful and safe act of affection.
"I loved the dogs. I let them kiss me. The kids would say, 'That's disgusting!' and I would reply, 'Have I ever gotten sick?'
"My dad once told me that a dog's tongue is clean and healing.
"A human tongue has 600 percent more microbes and it's filthy.
"And yet people French kiss each other on the first date!
"Meanwhile, dogs are 600 percent cleaner and they don't french me."
For those who want a second opinion, try this.
You might want to hold off on kissing your dog until you're really serious.