In Praise Of Making Out With Your Dog

Categories: Advice

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This doesn't come from me, mind you.

I don't even have a chia pet.

But actor Joe Pantoliano says in his new book that when he got depressed, he started accumulating dogs and found that smooching with the pooches was a delightful and safe act of affection.

Writes Joe:

"I loved the dogs. I let them kiss me. The kids would say, 'That's disgusting!' and I would reply, 'Have I ever gotten sick?'

"My dad once told me that a dog's tongue is clean and healing.

"A human tongue has 600 percent more microbes and it's filthy.

"And yet people French kiss each other on the first date!

"Meanwhile, dogs are 600 percent cleaner and they don't french me."


Hmm.

For those who want a second opinion, try this.

You might want to hold off on kissing your dog until you're really serious.


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15 comments
Musto
Musto

This redefines puppy love.

bitchtrollfromhell
bitchtrollfromhell

I used to kiss my dog on the side of his head not his mouth.  Even though he never bad breath, he was a clean teen!

Boxeresq
Boxeresq

Dogs don't give you diseases by kissing them but they sure do make you laugh and smile and there is no politics in smooching pets...they just love you.

Vin
Vin

Man and dog! Wait till Santorum gets ahold of this!

corrective_unconscious
corrective_unconscious

While I don't like to get licked on my lips by a dog, the point is moot. Your hands touch the dog, including saliva, then your hands invariably touch your face. In fact, this is how colds and other viruses really spread - you touching your own face after shaking hands with someone else or something.

Istanbull
Istanbull

Much as I love my dog, I don't want to get salmonella from him.

Jonster
Jonster

I love dogs.  And I miss my dearly-departed cat Columbus.  But some people carry their pet love to an extreme.  I dated a guy who took it to a level beyond which I could climb.  It was an inter-species love affair.  They recently did a survey on which profession has the highest rate of crazy people.  My friend, who runs a dog rescue service in SF, said "Law."  (I work at a law firm.)  It turns out it's Animal Workers.  He didn't even miss a best.  "They're right!" he said.

Ick
Ick

Mitt Romney probably made out with his dog while it was strapped to the hood of the car.

John Andrew Simone
John Andrew Simone

I guess none of his dogs are the sort of breeds that eat their own or others shit.

Jcrain
Jcrain

Joe Pantoliano, my all-time favorite living psycho performer? I'll take his word for it! I'll even play dawg if he prefers!

Bwaybill
Bwaybill

OK, I'd rather not risk getting salmonella if you don't mind. My dog and I can just shake hands.

Oprah4dogcatcher
Oprah4dogcatcher

president obama has no health worries about killing puppies and eating them for breakfast in the white house.

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