Oprah Gets Raked Over By Joan Rivers

Categories: Oprah

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In her new book about hating absolutely everyone including herself, Joanie naturally puts Oprah Winfrey on the grill.

Writes the comic:


"And don't say 'Oprah, who?'

"Stedman's beard, that's who.

"Oh, please. Sure, she denies it, but even Abraham Lincoln didn't have this big a beard.

"I know Oprah's opened schools and raised money...blahblah....But so what? She can't keep her weight at a reasonable level.

"One day she weighs 140, two days later she's being fitted for a boat cover.

"Her weight goes up and down more than Monica Lewinsky's head.

"And honestly, I don't know how she keeps gaining the weight; how fattening could Gayle King be?"


Oh, relax, Oprah. It's all in fun.

OWN it!


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21 comments
dsmith
dsmith

Have you ever wondered what the woman who sounds like she has a perpetual case of the flu looks like without the pancake, wig and false eyelashes? It ain't pretty.

http://ohnotheydidnt.livejourn...

Miss Understood
Miss Understood

Joan Rivers is amazing!  Sorry if some of you stick-up-the-butt types don't get her.

Iamexpert
Iamexpert

I don't find Joan Rivers funny. Never have.

exackerly
exackerly

I'm just a little surprised that she thinks this tired material is worthy of a book. She's actually written some pretty good books, memoirs, where she drops her onstage persona and talks honestly about her life. But you'd think she'd know by now that one-liners that might work at a live show, when the audience is half drunk, just kind of lie there when they're in cold hard print.

Danlm2000
Danlm2000

I love Joan, however that line about Monica Lewinsky?  I think it is time she retired that one. It happened over 16 years ago.  She needs new material.

Tom Blunt
Tom Blunt

I love Joan, but this material is pretty humdrum. It may be time to put her out to pasture...

Mizchastain
Mizchastain

Joan is merely making fun of the drastic weight fluctuations, which are indeed funny.

latenitebump
latenitebump

right. and a few blogs ago we were critizing lagerfeld for saying adele is too fat! joan looks like howdy doody. not wait that´s her daughter.

Starkers
Starkers

Joan Rivers has officially become a gay man. Love it.

Parvenu
Parvenu

OMG this is hilarious!!!

billyjoe
billyjoe

My guess is that Joan's audience at a club near the 2012 Republican Convention would find much of this shtick uproariously funny.

Power
Power

Yeah, that's tired, but not so much as her usual jokes about Amy Carter!!!

obama eats dead dogs
obama eats dead dogs

oprah should make fun of joan getting fat injections into melissa's face from oprah's butt crack.

latenitebump
latenitebump

joan rivers needs to go away. she hasn´t been funny in years and the her industry knows it. she´s been doing the same act for centuries! one thing: she cut out is the jewish jokes.instead of elizabeth taylor just insert oprah winfrey. joan already did the fat joke tip. centuries ago.phyllis diller did the plastic surgery humor long before joan copied her.even she was fired on the tonight show. couldn´t replace johnny carson.then you know your career is over when you drag your daughter onto the red carpet!comedy has moved on from those bathhouse daze!

obama eats dead dogs
obama eats dead dogs

please dont make fun of joan's fugly no talent daughter.

rumor rumor has a head like an ugly tumor!

obama eats dead dogs
obama eats dead dogs

yeah, joan probably does take it up the butt, while thinking of her husband that killed himself.

obama eats dead dogs
obama eats dead dogs

almost as funny as joan rivers' husband killing himself.

almost as funny as joan rivers' fugly kid being typical no talent hollywood kid.

Topsyturvy8
Topsyturvy8

But Melissa has produced soooooooooooooooooooooo many (of her mother's) shows.

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