Sayings I Don't Ever Want to Hear Again

Categories: Advice

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And I mean ever!!!


*"In this economy..."

Oh, shut up! Bo-ring!


*Girls calling each other "dude."

That wore out its subversive charm about seven years ago. Just call each other "darling" and get on with it.


*So what's exciting that's going on these days?"

Um, the fact that I have a job and I actually get paid to give out information like that.


*"Perishable," "raw," "organic," "whole," "vegan"

Please! Just eat what's in front of you! In other countries, they're ingesting worm-filled dirt and not sitting around wondering if it's perishable.


*"Join my Kickstarter campaign!"

Sure thing, hon. As soon as you pay my rent.


*You must have a portrait in the attic."

Not only is that the tiredest of cliches, it implies that I miraculously don't fully look how ancient I really am. Hush. Go back to your attic.


*You look so thin!"

People were saying this when in actuality I had gained four pounds. Hearing it made me gain three more. I'm now on the way down again, but even if I lose it all, don't say I look thin. Just smile knowingly.


*Suck it!

Eat it!


*Harvesting," "connecting," "shepherding," "trending," "humanistic"....

Pretentious and soul deadening. Plug it up, dude!


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26 comments
Gregorama
Gregorama

Commenting on someone's weight--either way--is such a bad idea...unless you know for a fact that they are on a determined weight-loss regimen, trying to reduce...or prepping for a competitive eating contest by trying to blimp-up.  On the same token, my least-favorite is the sort of ersatz-concerned, "You look tired...".  Really?  And what am I supposed to do with this information?  Immediately head home and take a fucking nap?   

Peter Sherwood
Peter Sherwood

"Seriously? Riilly? Are you kidding me right now?" All those are so overused. I've moved on to "Honestly?"

Peegeswim
Peegeswim

"FYI, Heads up, On the same page, She/He's on my team, irregardless, whatever, not for nothin', S'up? , Just chillin', Chillax, Bring you up to speed, and many, many more.Thank you for this!

anonTWO
anonTWO

"he can get it".When I hear a woman say that I'm thinking " he doesn't want it- not from YOU"!

MessWithTexas
MessWithTexas

"So" as an adverb in two-word Facebook comments, especially "So cute," "So pretty." 

Isaac Ibn Tabul
Isaac Ibn Tabul

Well in this period of one , or at the most two liners. It's so easy for one's mind to be so over whelmed by the times more common tendency of the over use of a word or prase. I would have to say that the term shepherding is very appropriate of the sheepish life style that we have attained. I'm interested in what the populace's thought on the term, and it's durational over use of the quantities an series or sequence of the term, "Isn't your chukar-wang out of position?" In the 1950s in the pool halls we called it peeter-puffing or petter-puffers. It was a term used in reference to a dude who seemed to have a problem with thier genitalia was of a continuous discomfort in it's condition in it's packaging. When it's hanging uncomfortable way it needed a shift. So what I'm asking is the term "Isn't your chukar-wang out of position?" Is it being over used. Or maybe it just might be a regional thing! Now even that I'm gay it's very strang to have a dude constantly trying to get him self comfortable. So I use the term. "Like dude are you having trouble getting your Blue Puck on the winder?" So saying that you don't want to ever hear again seems totally lame when we have a GOP Mormon Presidential conender that helped strike down the Gay Marriage Law down in California! now that some thing that I don't want to hear ever again. Or is that just too antishepherding?

J S
J S

"Trending."  WTF is that?  Something can be a trend, or you can follow a trend, but... 

Quit verbing your nouns!

VonD
VonD

This economy is horrible thanks to the GOP. Baste it, girl!  So what if girls call each other dude, it's about exploding monolithic notions of gender, especially at a time when right-wingers are going after women sole-side down, girl. Tell me the taste, Mother Musto, the children want to know what you find exciting, don't hate. Nothing wrong with finding about about your food and whether it's whole or wholly toxic, chile. Kickstarter's keeping folks in some jobs right about now, so if you ain't feeling it just pass that clickable URL right on by. Your attitude is young as a spring blossom, you total top you, so why you throwing shade when people try to drop some Oscar Wilde on your fierce kadonk? Yes, you may have gained a few pounds but compared to most of middle America's middle you are rolling up like Twiggy so yes you betta smile, Auntie. Don't just eat it, beat it!I can't say a damn good thing about those pretentious words you list at the end, though, but I am trying every day to be more humanistic and less of a cyberdivo. You can believe that, Ma. Beat it up!

F. Packer
F. Packer

"Curating" a clothing store or a record store....it shouldn't even be used as a verb when talking about a fucking museum.

Kipi
Kipi

"Awesome"!  Do you think this makes you sound cool - or young?

Timmmyk
Timmmyk

'We love to entertain.'

DavidEMorgan
DavidEMorgan

I think "Seminal" may be a bit played out.

Denise LeBeau
Denise LeBeau

Bwahaha! Great list! Every time i say or hear "going forward" just a little bit of my brain becomes perishable. 

Hola
Hola

I hate "shepherding" too! Thanks for calling that out.

Barnaby_Rudge
Barnaby_Rudge

Bespoke.  What is that all about?  Madonna talking with an odd pommy accent about a shopping spree at Liberty of London?

And Madge, the real Madonna is My Donna, Summer.

Savannah Montgomery
Savannah Montgomery

ARTISANAL!!!!  

meaning, "I made it from scratch"...although they want you to think they birthed it, nurtured it, and when it was approaching the end of life, they euthanized it, humanely, and now lovingly slow cooked it...so you can "honor" it.

Pass the ketchup.

latenitebump
latenitebump

awesome. rocks. ghetto. justin bieber. madonna is the best selling female artist of all time. adele.

Savannah Montgomery
Savannah Montgomery

 Honestly [insert sarcasm look]???

"IMHO"...should be nominated as well...though it's not a "saying".

Oil
Oil

Why are you defending horrible cliches? They are indefensible.

Movielover
Movielover

I know!  Spermy is so much more to the point.

EstéeLauderdale
EstéeLauderdale

I think Empress VonD is just having a bit of fun. #IRONY, you know. LOL

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