The Hideous Lies In Dating Site Profiles: Here's Your Handy Guide

Categories: Advice

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Everyone--I mean everyone--lies on Match.com, OKCupid, Grindr, Manhunt, eHarmony, and every other hookup site/app in tarnation.

The profiles read more like romance novels than confessionals, filled with exaggerations, evasions, wishful thinking, and downright doctoring of evidence.

With every word they type, the participants' noses grow Pinocchio-style, but unfortunately their other parts tend to stay the same size--or maybe they even shrink from fear of being found out.

Fortunately, Brian Moylan has laid it all out for you in this vice.com article, which goes subject by subject through the most prominent fabrications these unpaid fiction writers come up with in order to sell their used goods.

He analyzes the bullshit factor when it comes to the insanely retouched profile photo, the person's alleged body size (add 75 pounds), their exalted musical taste (When's the last time they really listened to Mozart?), and their reputed lust for museums.

Please! The last time my tricks were spotted at the Met was to cruise the bathroom stalls.

Enjoy--and by the way, the above photo is one of the few honest ones on OKCupid.

I happen to think he's cute--and I'm not lying.


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