The Saddest Thing I've Heard In A While

Categories: Addiction

staples1.jpg

I wandered into a Staples the other day with a friend.

When we got to the register, the cashier processed my friend's purchase, then said, "Can I interest you in one of our pens for a dollar?"

I looked down and there was a tin can with a bunch of perfectly ordinary pens sitting in it, looking like lost orphans in a Salvation Army receptacle from The Twilight Zone.

I glanced around and realized that all the registers had similar batches of sad looking pens in front of them.

And obviously every single cashier was instructed to finish each transaction by trying to hawk a pen for a buck to every last customer.

This filled me with a swelling sense of despair.

I mean, a gigantic chain store has decided that selling pens for 100 pennies plus tax is the answer to financial uncertainty!

And rather than just offer them for sale, the poor help have to ask each paying customer if they want to buy them, praying to extort that extra dollar by trying to hijack each more serious purchase!

Maybe they can also get a kid to set up a lemonade stand.



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28 comments
Dog Eater Obama
Dog Eater Obama

tell the cashier to shove the pens up john travolta's butt...sideways.

vito33
vito33

Pretty irritating, but not so much as the upselling they try to do when you buy something electronic. You know, the extended warranty BS.

exackerly
exackerly

The money for the pens probably goes to charity, I'm not sure exactly how. Next time see if there's some kind of sign by the pens. WalMart sometimes hits me up fpr a dollar at the register, I always say no because who needs that.

J S
J S

I think I've been in a Staples only once.  Office Max is better; but Amazon is best of all!  Free 2-day shipping and no sales tax!

Savannah Montgomery
Savannah Montgomery

Mom 'n Pop places hit you up for REAL charities...that they supported...and had proud photos behind the counter and could name the folks in them.

Monsieurpatric
Monsieurpatric

Staples is the remains of the destruction Bain Capital wrought.  So much ruined and lost to create the might non-union Staples, oh my, Mr. Romney.  Next time, Office Max, OK?

JEWISHPRINCESS0
JEWISHPRINCESS0

Everywhere I go in Palm Springs I am asked if I want to donate money and before I get in the store there are   people waiting outside to ...not ask if I can give them money but rather.."My car is broken and I need a few dollars" MY WIFE IS IN THE CAR AND ILL CAN YOU HELP ME OUT " OR THE USUAL.."I AM OUT OF GAS AND WE ARE NOT FROM HERE SO....."So by time I get into the store I may have no money left.

Roids
Roids

Mitt Romney owns Staples????

Timmmyk
Timmmyk

They sell 'em for $1.01/dozen online. Gaccchhh.

John Andrew Simone
John Andrew Simone

Staples: one of Romney and Bain's success stories. Billion dollar enterprise only because they pay minimum wage slave salaries. 

Massive Retail-iation
Massive Retail-iation

More importantly, boycott stores open III n holidays. There is no good reason to have these low paid workers away from family and friends only for corporate greed. We don't want to work that day, neither do they.

Musto
Musto

Someone just tweeted that these pens are made of recycled water bottles, and that's the big selling point.

Bindi the jungle GURL
Bindi the jungle GURL

I think the office supply biz has always been tough...this economy hasn't helped them or their competition.

Chickenlittle
Chickenlittle

If this is what Staples has resorted to, the double dip recession must be on the verge of happening.

Steinhope
Steinhope

I feel bad for these poor cashiers who have to say that. Like their jobs aren't shitty enough.

Guest
Guest

Walgreens has been doing the same thing the past few months--except it's candy bars, rather than pens.  The gimmick:  the candy bar is free if they don't ask.  I've not taken a "free" candy bar out of concern about causing repercussions for their overpaid (not!) cashiers.

Romney Job Killer
Romney Job Killer

You mean like yours are? There is a giant fistula that stares back at you when you peer into any mirror, and it's so huge and bloody it makes you romney yourself.

Istanbull
Istanbull

It's wishful thinking that the money goes to charity. Wouldn't they say so? And would they really bother each customer just so they can give money to charity? I know they do that at K Mart, but I doubt a Romney institution would do it.

HumbertHumbert
HumbertHumbert

Yep, and you deprive workers of a job, and deny localities revenues! You're a winner, you know that?

Ocamar
Ocamar

Isay let them eat White-out. A little garlic powder and some peprika, and you'll think it's butter.

Monsieurpatric
Monsieurpatric

Yes, and real small businesses with hearts and intelligence provide pro bono services unlike the likes of a Bain.

KarlMarks
KarlMarks

But they have to eat, you upper-middle-class entitled person, you!

Lotsaloretta
Lotsaloretta

Are those the water bottles with Bispenol-A, which is killing as slowly as drying paint?

Dog Eater Obama
Dog Eater Obama

John Travolta wishes a walgreens cashier would shove a candy bar up his butt.

Rapunkzel
Rapunkzel

You and your name are as nauseating as a bed sheet smeared with santorum.

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