The Worst Hotel Room In The World
As a world traveler who's gone everywhere from here to Hartford, Connecticut, I can tell you with assurance that such a room would be one that comes equipped with the following odious features:
*A deeply depressing view of a parking garage or an air shaft. Any NYC apartment with such a view sits on the market for decades. I'd rather stare at sick pigeons that look at nothingness or worse, parked cars.
*A freezing level of air conditioning that won't change no matter how many knobs you turn while screaming and crying. Your tears quickly turn to icicles.
*A shower where the water stays cold for a really long time until you step into it and it suddenly zooms up to 110 degrees. At least you're not freezing anymore as you survey your third-degree burns.
*Plus it leaks! Hot water is creeping into your bedroom! This is becoming a real life horror movie, and you're paying for it. A lot.
*A bathroom without a socket anywhere near the mirror. You have to blow someone at the concierge desk for an extension cord just so you can shave.
*A TV that only has your least favorite channels plus straight dirty ones to pay for. For entertainment, you consider staring out at the air shaft.
*A coffee maker that even Einstein couldn't figure out how to use. You use it as a water pitcher instead. At least they can't charge you for tap water. Can they?
*Soft, fluffy pillows that your head gets buried in, making it impossible to sleep. You couldn't anyway, from the burns and the gusts of cold air.
*A maid that starts knocking on your door at 730 AM. Go away, you vicious creature. Some relaxing vacation!