The Worst Hotel Room In The World

Categories: Advice

Royal Plaza Suite Living Area 1.jpg
As a world traveler who's gone everywhere from here to Hartford, Connecticut, I can tell you with assurance that such a room would be one that comes equipped with the following odious features:


*A deeply depressing view of a parking garage or an air shaft. Any NYC apartment with such a view sits on the market for decades. I'd rather stare at sick pigeons that look at nothingness or worse, parked cars.

*A freezing level of air conditioning that won't change no matter how many knobs you turn while screaming and crying. Your tears quickly turn to icicles.

*A shower where the water stays cold for a really long time until you step into it and it suddenly zooms up to 110 degrees. At least you're not freezing anymore as you survey your third-degree burns.

*Plus it leaks! Hot water is creeping into your bedroom! This is becoming a real life horror movie, and you're paying for it. A lot.

*A bathroom without a socket anywhere near the mirror. You have to blow someone at the concierge desk for an extension cord just so you can shave.

*A TV that only has your least favorite channels plus straight dirty ones to pay for. For entertainment, you consider staring out at the air shaft.

*A coffee maker that even Einstein couldn't figure out how to use. You use it as a water pitcher instead. At least they can't charge you for tap water. Can they?

*Soft, fluffy pillows that your head gets buried in, making it impossible to sleep. You couldn't anyway, from the burns and the gusts of cold air.

*A maid that starts knocking on your door at 730 AM. Go away, you vicious creature. Some relaxing vacation!

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8 comments
billyjoe
billyjoe

The more hotel rooms one frequents, the more one notices how beat-up, cheaply adorned, and truly grungy some of them really are. 

It's kind of like being in Las Vegas for more than three days...the town's inherent sleaziness starts breaking through glitzy veneer. 

Rick Shaw
Rick Shaw

Hahahaha....Great post...have experienced them all! *Cries*

Natali
Natali

You haven't seen the worst hotel room in the world until you've seen the rooms in the SRO my family used to own, The Rockaway Park Hotel. It was nice long, long ago when people actually went to Rockaway for vacations. It was an actual hotel. Then after people left, it sort of fell apart. A hotel room with a coffee maker has to be at least, a little bit nice. The rooms in my family's hotel had nothing, usually not even a TV. Shared bathrooms, etc. It was a big joke but I wish they had kept it and fixed it up, because I believe Rockaway could be decent again, eventually.

Jonster
Jonster

I won't touch the bedspreads.  You know, the kind of swirly, earth toned, paisley patterned remnant from the 70s.  I use the ice tongs to take it off the bed and place it upside down on the carpet so I don't have to walk on it. 

Ick
Ick

Also, bad art on the walls. I mean REALLY bad art that makes it hard to spend even two minutes in the room.

Starla
Starla

I agree! I can never figure out how to lower the freezing air controls.

Savannah Montgomery
Savannah Montgomery

"A TV that only has your least favorite channels plus straight dirty ones to pay for."

BINGO!!!!!

nostradavid
nostradavid

Working a construction job out-of-town years ago, my company booked us into a run down 40's era motor court. When I turned down the covers, there was a dead roach stretched out in the middle of the sheets. I slept on top of the bedspread in my work clothes that night.

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