What's With All These People Who Talk To Themselves In The Street?

Categories: Advice

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There are more and more of them, all loudly conversing into thin air as they bizarrely breeze past you.

Psychos? Acute schizo nutjobs?

No. You quickly realize that they must be talking into some invisible gizmo or other which actually connects them with another human being. You hope.

Still, I find these people disturbing, partly because you're never fully sure what they're up to, and also because they tend to take away from my own habit of talking to myself in public.

I'm often found on my bike either rehearsing a speech I'm going to have to make, fantasizing that I'm an agent giving advice to Meryl Streep, or even belting out snippets of showtunes.

It makes things way more entertaining for me, if mildly creepy for others.

Just recently, a Tony nominee caught me on my bike as I was singing "I Don't Know How To Love Him" in a very earnest baritone. He said hello anyway.

Another time, a famous designer caught me blithely riding around while unselfconsciously practicing my version of Susan Lucci's Emmy speech as if I were in a rehearsal studio. He said hello too!

And I kind of enjoyed giving them a mild jolt.

In fact, I want to be the only one with the privilege of being publicly loud, embarrassing, and weird.

Note to self:

Next time you see someone having a conversation with nothingness, try to find the wire and unplug the bitch.

And if there's no wire, find the nearest cop.

OK, self?



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10 comments
CMG
CMG

I don't care how many people have a blue tooth, I always pause for a second and think schizophrenic when I hear them talk.  And I hate to say it most people would not bat an eye if this was a guy in a three piece suit but anything casual or ragged looking clothing makes people jump to schizo.  

Rogie
Rogie

Serves me well as a defense against troublemakers. When I see them entering the subway car I'd start mumbling to myself and they'd leave me alone. It's no fun for these types when they think you won't be clear-headed enough to perceive that they want to annoy you.

latenitebump
latenitebump

lily tomlin made a joke along time ago on saturday night live about that subject: 1975. (love the internet).

it went like this:and most important of all: wouldn´t it be nice if all those people who roam the streets of new york, talking to themselves, were paired off so that they could walk around in couples and LOOK like they´re having a conversation?

so, nothing news!

anonTWO
anonTWO

talking to oneself: best convo you will have all day.

VonD
VonD

It's been this way since Reagan emptied the mental institutions. We've been careening downhill ever since, and now they've almost completely taken over Wall $treet and the Republican Party, huntee!

Honks
Honks

LOL...these folks must have a lot of friends/business to do...or they can't stand the thoughts in their own heads for a second..I was just pondering this yesterday...LOL

Another Michael M
Another Michael M

Call me old fashioned but I've never felt comfortable having a call on the streets without the actual hand gesture of holding a phone to my ear. 

Steinhope
Steinhope

I bet most of them are just talking to themselves and using the fact that people might think they're just talking into a phone.

Diesel
Diesel

I agree. It's very disconcerting to see people booming loudly into thin air as they walk by you.

Ribs
Ribs

It's so true. Start talking to yourself like a looney and people do leave you alone. I've done it.

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