Green Lantern Is Gay! Here Are His Special Powers!

Categories: Advice

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Yes, one more superhero has emerged as a super-queero.

The Green Lantern--most recently played by Ryan Reynolds (albeit as a womanizer)--is now an out gay media mogul who's fearless and honest and has as little use for the closet as he does for the color purple.

And I have some marvelous ideas as to what his special powers should be.


*The ability to turn lime green into seafoam green at will

*The ability to change the name of D.C. comics to A.C.-D.C. comics

*The ability to stop Avengers II, III, IV and so on from being produced, in the name of sanity and originality

*The ability to make me read a comic book for the first time since Archie & Veronica

*The ability to look really fierce.

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15 comments
GREEN LANTERN IS SOOOOO GAY
GREEN LANTERN IS SOOOOO GAY

Green lantern's other powers: to take it up the butt for two hours.

Another Green Lantern power: to take it up the butt from Superman's super sclong.

Still another Green Lantern power: to take on a gang bang from Batman, Superman, Robin, Spiderman, and The Fantastic Four.

Brigman
Brigman

The ability to hold up a restaurant line while sampling all flavors of ice cream before ordering. 

Savannah Montgomery
Savannah Montgomery

Trolls turn invisible on sight!   Oh wait a minute...we all have that power.

Lincoln C. Chinnery
Lincoln C. Chinnery

 Not a troll. Just a Comic book fan, writer, drinker and lover of all things NYC who had a valid opinion with what was writen. Trolls hide, I do not.

Musto
Musto

I'm well aware that it's Alan Scott and originally had the name in it, but took it out because the phrasing actually made it more confusing. But now we have it all settled here.

Lincoln C. Chinnery
Lincoln C. Chinnery

 Really? Okay. Then I'm done talking about it. It's a shame you had to bow to the will of the pedestrians but I understand my. Please ignore my comment.

 

Lincoln C. Chinnery
Lincoln C. Chinnery

I know you're joking but get your info straight (no pun) It's ALAN SCOTT aka the Original Green Lantern. If you're going to make jokes and attempt to be funny do some research first. For instance, this particular Green Lantern's weakness is wood.  P.S. That Green Lantern movie was a steaming pile of crap.

corrective_unconscious
corrective_unconscious

You meant Green Lantern's weakness is "woody." Mine also.

I accidentally "liked" your post, because my browser won't load a page conclusively.

Olfactory
Olfactory

Yes, we know, we know. Please hush.

Timmee
Timmee

*Rearranging your furniture with a flick of his wrist.

Quimsy
Quimsy

Ryan Reynolds always struck me as a little that way anyway.

Loins
Loins

He should have been pink or lavender.

anonymouse
anonymouse

 He will be. He's only green because he isn't ripe yet.

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