And The New Mr. Sobriety Is...!

Me, Gusty, and Alex. We live to judge, and we judge to live.

It made perfect sense since I haven't had a drink since I started popping seizure pills, which coincidentally was the night The Lion King opened on Broadway.

The pageant was great, with six hot males strutting around in swimsuits and answering both serious questions ("What's your favorite step?") and raunchy ones ("At meetings, do you want to play with Grindr, Facebook, or your sponsor?")

At one point, the entire crowd was standing and applauding their own sobriety, to which I remarked into the mic, "This is a scary cult! Sort of like Scientology!" though I later amended to, "This has now become like a Klan rally. If you don't need a drink after tonight, you'll never need a drink!"

The crowd laughed in a wonderfully receptive way--these people have been through too many challenges to not know the healing value of humor.

And the guffaws kept coming when fellow judge Gusty Winds declared, "Let's hear it for Whitney. She's three months sober!"

The third judge, Real Housewife Alex McCord was fun too, joking about Countess LuAnn, "She's a thug in a dress" and cracking that everyone there must have have Andy Cohen's number. ("You're on Grindr!")

The winner is Jeff G.

Cheers, Jeff. With water.

Photos by Daniel F. Oliverio

Things go better with Coca Cola.