I Just Realized The Best Use For Instagram (Though It's A Little Macabre)!

Categories: Advice

2-3.jpg
Remember how in the old days, whenever you (not me--you) hooked up with someone from a hot line, you'd leave your friend a message saying, "His name is supposedly Jerry and he lives at 924 W. 12th Street and he says he has big dogs. If you don't hear from me for three days, call the police"?

And of course nowadays the Grindr/Craiglist people can do the same thing:

"I'm going to someone's house who's sculpted, tall, gorgeous, and 21."

Followed by the inevitable: "Um, wait a minute. He's actually 55-year-old, 360 pounds, and has one hair in a circle. Call the police if etc., etc."

Well, those days are over.

Now there's Instagram--the photo answer to Twitter!

And it provides a potentially crime-busting service.

Whenever you meet someone you're about to do it with, simply sneak a quick photo of them and throw it up (as it were) on Instagram, with the caption "My newest friend."

This is your way of telling the world that if you're next found running through the street screaming that your nipples have been cut off by gardening shears, that's the man or woman who done it!

It's basically a Wanted poster hung up in the giant web post office of life.

Great idea, no?

My Voice Nation Help
9 comments
Sort: Newest | Oldest
FredsterNYC©
FredsterNYC©

Or you can take a pic of the apartment number and tag the address.

latenitebump
latenitebump

love the still of diane keaton and richard gere!

Jonster
Jonster

Running through the street screaming that your nipples have been cut off by garden shears. I'm Hysterical !! Aaah.  The good old days of desire and paranoia.  Desiranoia.  The lengths (ahem) to which one would go.  I'm sure there are at least three others besides me who remember the piers along the waterfront with the missing floorboards.  It would be 4 in the morning.  You'd hear a splash, cross yourself, and say to yourself "There but for the Grace of God ... "

anonymouse
anonymouse

 Damn, you caught the reference before me.

bitchtrollfromhell
bitchtrollfromhell

"Normal?  You call that normal?  What she did to herself, a woman can only do once!! Cutting off her nipples with a pair of garden shears.  Garden shears!!" - Carson McCullers, "Reflections in a Golden Eye"

VonD
VonD

Kind of creepy...not everyone wants their photo on Instagram, especially the non-murderous types!

Oillamps
Oillamps

No, they won't. Having the evidence out there will stop them.

Kentuckymoonshinebitch
Kentuckymoonshinebitch

It IS a good idea, except that if they're the kind of person who's gonna kill you, they'll do it faster if they see you snapping a photo of them.

Loading...