Scat Queens! Get Thee To The Central Park Zoo!

Categories: Advice

I was having a perfectly innocent time at the Central Park Zoo the other day, marveling at all the sunbathing turtles, shy red pandas, unselfconscious scarlet ibises, and precious little cotton top tamarins.

And I came upon a snow leopard--imperious, regal, and willingly posing for tourists' photos, as if fully aware of his own worth.

And right past its window display came the sign that turned my head around:


An analysis of snow leopard droppings tells one what the cat has eaten lately.

Most likely marmot fur."

The sign is attached to what resembles a giant magnifying glass that juts out, and it's positioned to focus on a rock with some faux snow leopard crap on it, for all the families to gather around and examine.

Which led me to wonder:

*Is it faux?

*Is the term "scat" really used in public venues like this, not just in Hell's Kitchen?

*Does the snow leopard like the works of Ella Fitzgerald?

*Where could I find the bald marmots?

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