Furniture Steals The Show at Republican Convention!

Categories: Politics

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The centerpiece of the convention last night was a chair--a perfectly ordinary looking one, mind you--which Clint Eastwood talked to in a bizarre, stammering speech that must have been inspired by the works of Samuel Beckett.

The Oscar winning actor/director kept glancing at the empty chair and saying stuff like, "So, Mr President, how do you handle promises you made?...How do you handle it?"

[Pause]

"What do you mean, shut up?" snarled Eastwood to the chair, feigning annoyance. "I'm not gonna shut up. It's my turn!"

There were some titters, but this whole routine should probably have been unplugged like Hilary Swank in Million Dollar Baby.

"Wow, that was bad" was one notable person's tweet.

"What the heck is THIS?" tweeted another commentator.

Messaged Roger Ebert: "Clint, my hero, is coming across sad and pathetic. He didn't need to do this to himself."

Yet, Eastwood might have a future doing commercials for Ikea.

Or he can walk through various urban neighborhoods conversing with abandoned furniture.

A lot of times during the speech, the audience members were shown looking dazed, though they did audibly cheer when he looked into the audience--all sitting in their own chairs--and said, "I never thought it was a good idea for attorneys to be President anyway."

They all forgot that Mittens has a law degree.

Anyway, you can all go ahead and vote for Romney, but I'm voting for the chair.

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12 comments
monkeyskrump
monkeyskrump

On the bright side, they almost found something as wooden as Willard. Almost. It would have been much more effective if they had a well-lubed stripper humping the air and splaying her juices all over stage. Medically speaking, of course. (I'm a male nurse)

Nino
Nino

Senile Eastwood thinks he's tough. Shoot the Cracka

nostradavid
nostradavid

Romney already had the senile redneck vote locked down. Letting anyone go onstage unscripted before the candidate introduction was a major failure for the campaign. Watching the audience reactions while he rambled on was hilarious. Ms. Romney and the Ryans looked like they were smelling skunk. Clint was the only part of the convention I saw; US Open tennis was the best thing on all week.

suburbanoinker
suburbanoinker

He reminded me of Pee Wee Herman talking to Mr. Chairy!

blissbaby
blissbaby

The article you linked says Eastwood is in favor of abortion rights and same sex marriage. I guess he just wants Romney because he's afraid of having to be taxed on his millions!

latenitebump
latenitebump

that´s why they call it the grand OLD party.

 

jackson30
jackson30

PS: "A chair is not a house...."

jackson30
jackson30

This is so unbelievable!!!!!!!

troofire
troofire

It was too painful to watch.  And Project Runway beckoned.  Good night and goodbye, sweet Clint.

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