Lady Bunny Got Roasted Last Night! Here's What Went Down

Categories: Drag Queens

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Did you smell deep-fried rabbit last night on West 42nd Street?

Well, for her alleged 50th birthday, drag legend Lady Bunny got roasted by her Hot Mess costars, along with others (like little old me) at xl, and the fur flew so hard it made Roseanne's TV roast look like the Kennedy Center Honors!

Here's a sampling of what I said:


"So Bunny's claiming she's turning 50?

OK, by that math, Joan Rivers is 35!

In reality, Bunny is so old that she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

Her social security number is three.

Jurassic Park brought back memories for her.

Her breasts squirt out powdered milk.

She once walked into an antiques shop and they sold her.

I once told Bunny to act her age, so she died.

Unfortunately, she's still doing her act.

They throw the carcass into a wheelbarrow, put some eyeliner on it, roll it over to xl, and she does some dick jokes.

She makes Mimi Imfurst look like Dorothy Parker.

Speaking of dick, I've stopped trying to get her away from underage Mexican delivery boys.

At least it shuts the bitch up for 10 minutes.

Oh, sorry. Ten hours. That's how long it takes for the boys to get a hardon with dentures clamping their pingas.

And all the while, Bunny's thinking, 'I'm the only classy drag queen in New York.'

Wait, did I just say 'Bunny' and 'thinking' in the same sentence? Shoot me.

And did someone call her a DJ? That's like calling Kim Kardashian a pleasure engineer.

Playing 'La Bamba' in endless rotation, with an occasional 'Edge of Glory' thrown in, does not a DJ make!

Oh, what the hell. You're an inspiration, Bunny. Besides, I'm afraid of you!"


Also getting big yucks were Bianca Del Rio, Miss Guy, Sherry Vine, David Ilku, Linda Simpson, Flotilla DeBarge, and John Epperson.

Miss Guy remarked that Bunny has done so much for the homeless, like sucking their dicks on a regular basis. "In fact, that's how she met RuPaul!"

And Joan Rivers herself sent a hilarious video, which started with "I've roasted more people than Hitler" and went on from there. ("Bunny, you're the only drag queen who doesn't have to tuck. Your face is so ugly that when you look down, your penis runs away.")

A crazy, messy, funny night befitting the only "Lady" who, when asked what she wants on top of her burger, says "A hot dog!"

Love you, Buns.

Don't eat me!

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From the first "King & Queen of NY pageant." Photo: John Simone


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16 comments
Hupakin
Hupakin

@mikeymusto Luv it! Wish I were there.

mikeymusto
mikeymusto

@TheRealMissGuy I updated the blog to credit you with that fine joke.

mikeymusto
mikeymusto

@TheRealMissGuy Sorry, I couldn't remember who. It was a bit of a blur.

Instructorbk
Instructorbk

"One of the roasters said Bunny has done so much for the homeless, like sucking their dicks on a regular basis. "In fact, that's how she met RuPaul!" was Miss Guy's joke. 

 

And yes, the Rupaul part was tired, but it was obviously written that way.

 

Not everyone at a drag queen's 50th birthday roast has the sophisticated comedy tastes of someone like latenitebump.

 

Good for you latenitebump for pointing out the obvious flaw in that one joke (out of the millions of others that I am sure were at the high-end of humor that someone should expect at a drag queen's 50th birthday roast). You are a true comedy samaritan! Good for you.

 

 

williamHK
williamHK

What's "Hot Mess" and where's it playing?  And where was the roast at?

JasonBolicki
JasonBolicki

@mikeymusto Please tell me there is video of the roast online!

latenitebump
latenitebump

the joke about rupaul was tired. i hope linda simpson was the gas of the party. she´s a hoot. how come harmonica wasn´t there?

any way, love you bunny! LEGENDARY!

blissbaby
blissbaby

But it should be "WHO went down," not "what went down," lol.

blissbaby
blissbaby

Love this!! Sounds like the event of the season.

TheRealMissGuy
TheRealMissGuy

@mikeymusto I figured that's what happened...Thanks for updating it Michael! xx

mikeymusto
mikeymusto

@JasonBolicki I truly hope someone was taping it. Not sure.

blissbaby
blissbaby

 @latenitebump yeah it was so tired the entire audience screamed and yelped in appreciation for two minutes.

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